❥ tordtom oneshots《

drowning

vent L

wrote this rn on my phone in class
expect typos, i type better on a keyboard

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i feel like im drowning

my life is going in a spiral down

my grades are dropping

im working so hard to bring them back up

my teachers hate me, and i hate them

my mom yells and screams

im a failure

im ugly

im annoying

im texting friends 30 tiktoks in 10 minutes
they dont even bother replyijt anymore

i feel like a burden

and i cant do anything but stay sad

i like makung myseld feel lost

i have an addiction to my razors

i cut every day

it feels so good to feel so bad

to cry for hours

to sit and listen to fucking saline solution

and scream into my pillow

pull at my hair

and go insane

i cant trust anyone

god he makes me want to kill myself too

i want him to tell me stuff

why does he have to keep shit away from me?

does he not love me?

am i not a good boyfriend for him?

was i wasting 2 years of his life?

ha! almost 3 years now!

i dont eveb have the motivstion to talk to him

im doing this to myself

becayse i crave the insanity

bexause i crave the torment

the torture

i have my happy moments

they dont last long

why dont they last long?

its not fair

i havent cried in so long

why is it out of nowhere

i want to be numb again

i dont want to be loke this

i want to be drowning again

not aware of shit

floating in the bottom of the sea

i want to drown again

drown in my problems

drown OUT my problems

i dont want to be alert again let me feel nothing i dont want to feel i dont want to be humaj im not a good human

drown

let me drown dammit