James Buchanan Barnes Imagine book 2

Is it me?

Requested by AneliseBarnes. I hope this is what you meant 😅

Warnings: Slight Starvation.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, not feeling like your usual bubbly and happy self. Times like these happened all the time, you'd find yourself in your thoughts, then in the bathroom, then on the floor crying because of what you saw. You were in fact, perfect, in everyone else's eyes. It was just yours that didn't seem to be seeing what they were. Instead of a beautiful person walking the earth and whoever shall be lucky to step in your presence was double lucky, you saw someone that didn't look right, someone that had scars and bruises anywhere you looked, someone who wasn't perfect. You asked yourself how you thought, for how down you'd get by a simple glance in the mirror.

Sighing, you threw on a hoodie and some sweats, calling it a night. You were about to plop down on your bed when you immediately remembered that Sam needed to see you before you did so. Groaning, you shuffled across the floor before opening your door and finding Sam. You found Sam outside with Bucky and Nat, seeing all three talk and laugh. You were happy for Bucky and Sam, but also relieved that the two biggest children you know weren't fighting anymore. Sam saw you out the corner of his eye, letting his laugh die down as he turned to you.

"Y/n, hey." He wiped his eyes, "You're boyfriend is funny, you know that?"

You raised an eyebrow, "What? Trying to get with him too?"

Everyone except Sam laughed at your joke. Bucky wrapped an arm around your waist, you tensed and slowly wiggled out of his grip.

"Good one, Y/n. You can see the  embarrassment straight through him." Natasha chuckled, patting you on the back.

You tensed again and moved out her way. Bucky and Nat exchanged glances between each other, concerned about what just happened.

"Uhm, anyways," You cleared your throat, "You wanted to see me?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah." Sam answered, shaking off the embarrassment, "Uh, Steve just wanted me to remind you of the mission next week. Since he's on one right now he'd just come back for a few minutes and take off with you again. That's it."

"Oh." You nodded, "And...that had to be said today? At this exact moment?"

"Well, I mean, he texted me a few hours ago and said if I don't tell you then I'd forget. And if I forget he'd beat me within an inch of my life so.....yeah. Today. I couldn't tell you a few hours ago because I was busy. So, shoo." He smiled, playfully shooing you away.

You rolled your eyes, laughing quietly, and walked away. It wasn't hard to laugh with Sam. He's a good guy in your perspective, he always helps you when you're down, and he never seems to get tired of you as most people do. He's loyal and dependable, one of your first best friends. Before you could get very far, a hand grabbed your arm, gently pulling you back.

"Y/n." You recognized that voice as Bucky, "What's wrong? Did I do something?"

You furrowed your brows, "You? No. Nothing's wrong. Why?"

"Well, it's just when you pulled away I thought-"

"It's nothing." You cut him off, and your gaze went cold, "Forget about it. I'll see you later okay?"

"Y/n-"

You walked away, unable to not break down in front of him. Sighing, you shut your door and leaned against it, tired of the uneventful day. You moved to your bed and got comfortable, hoping to sleep away your troubles before the mission.

Morning came quick, faster than you intesapated as you groaned and crawled out of bed. The bags under your eyes said it all for you, how you tossed and turned, restless. You brushed your teeth, showered, put on some baggy clothes, and left to the kitchen. As soon as you walked through the door, you were greeted with "Hi"s and "Hello"s. You waved and gave a few small smiles before taking your seat and coming face to face with your plate. 4 stacked Pancakes, eggs, sausage, and a cup of Orange juice. You froze.