Since Day One

Part 60. Praimfaya

Octavia came out of the office after speaking on the radio, we'd been told Bellamy was the one calling.

"So?" I asked as she walked out.

"You're not going to like it." Octavia said. I took a deep breath before entering the office and picking up the radio.

"Bellamy?"

"Bel."

"What's going on?" I asked, scared.I just prayed this wasn't a goodbye call.

"We don't have time to get back, we're going into space." Bellamy explained.

My heart dropped at his words. I stayed silent, I didn't know what to say, they were all going in space for the next 5 years and I have to lead these people alone. Without him to hold on to.

"Bela are you there?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here bell." I told him, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

"Are you ok?" He asked me.

"Um yeah I'm fine." We were both silent for a moment, "Can you really survive up there for 5 years?" I decided to ask.

"Raven says we can. We'll have 5 years to figure out how to get back down. We will meet again." Bellamy answered.

"I'll be waiting." I told him.

"I know you will." Bellamy said. I couldn't help but think about the next 5 years of my life, what am I going to do.

"What is it Bel?" He asked me recognizing my silence.

"I'm not sure I'm up for this Bell. They look at me like I know what I'm doing, just because I won a fight and have some symbol in my head."   I revealed to him.

"They look at you like that because you saved them, but it won't last, now you have to lead them." Bellamy told me.

"How? I'm not a leader bell, it should be you or Clarke or—"

"Bel stop, neither of us could have done what you did and it wasn't just winning a fight or bearing a symbol, you gave them hope when their was none." He encouraged me.

"You know that would mean a lot more if you were actually here." I said with a hidden laugh. I wanted him next to me more than ever.

"I know. 5 years bel, just 5 and after that, I'll come back and we'll pick up where we left off, you can tell me stories about Nadia and I can tell you about space." I smiled at the thought that he might come back but, what if he doesn't come back.

"Bellamy what if it doesn't work?" I asked.

"It will, I know it will." He said, I think he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"I guess time wasn't in our favor." He said after a short pause. Tears formed in my eyes as he sounded like he was saying good bye. "Thank you for everything."

"No, no don't do that bell, this isn't goodbye, don't say your goodbyes, this is simply—" I tried to find why words to say, convince myself this isn't the last time I would hear his voice.

"— see you later?" Bellamy finished for me.

"Yeah. This is simply see you later." I told him.

"I love you Bela, I love you so much." He said, this is the second time he said it to me and I couldn't even say it once. "Looks like our tomorrow turned into 5 years." He added, remembering what I told him before he left, I told him I would tell him I loved him tomorrow , now there is no tomorrow for us. I smiled as I tried to keep back the tears from falling. I could imagine him on the other side waiting for me to say it back.