Jamie Quill: The bad boy, the jock, and the closeted.

Chapter 47 | Summertime sadness.

*WARNING: PANIC AND ANXIETY ATTACKS. MILD LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE*

It was the most relieving thing to watch Elijah get taken out of the court room screaming and calling me names. He was showing his true colors to the court and it was embarrassing.

Now that that's over with. I can finally focus on rebuilding myself. You're probably wondering what happened to Benjamin. Well guess what? Nothing happened.

*Flashback*

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

It's strange how I've been going to this school for nearly two and a half years and I have no idea where the intercom room is. All these halls and doors for what? I stopped a few people asking for directions and at last I found the place.

I swung opened the door, startling Benjamin. I grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him out and into the bathroom.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I asked glaring at him.

"Well I'm finally doing something right. I'm coming out in front of everyone and I'm confessing my love to you...in front of everyone."

I wanted to reach forward and slam his face down to the sink. I really did appreciate this gesture but it's just so wrong.

"You should be more considerate Benjamin," he looked confused,

"I just got out of the most toxic relationship of my life, and even before that I was talking time to get over you and I did. How are you going to ask me out two days after I just got beaten to death in the woods. Let me have time for myself and heal from my mental scars. Don't wait for me, because if you do, It'll be a waste of time. I won't ever be the same Jamie I was when we started high school. Goodbye Benjamin I'll catch you later," I waved goodbye and walked out the bathroom.

If I was being honest, I didn't care about what he felt when I'd said that. It's my job to look after myself and if people don't want to respect that, then they can go fuck themselves.

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It was nearly the end of sophomore year when Benjamin confessed. It's June now, the beginning month of summer. Let's just hope all goes well for me.

I was sitting on the sand, admiring the beauty of the ocean. Untamed yet you find beauty in the forms it creates. The sun was setting and it's reflection off the the water was a sight for sore eyes. The glistening are like diamonds floating on the surface of the vast body of water.

"Here you go." Brandon said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Thanks," I said taking my soda from him.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I think I wanna focus on myself for a bit. I've had enough relationships to know that I am not ready for one just yet," I admitted.

I really was not ready to jumped into anything that involved dating, or even having sex. That was such an overrated topic in freshmen year and I honestly hate that I was such a nymphomaniac and a victim to the stigma.

"Yea that's alright I guess." I could tell that Brandon seemed bummed out but I really couldn't care less. I'm not telling him to wait for me, and I'm not going to.

"Look. I'm really sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't mean to hurt you like that, but I really do need this time to myself. I need to heal, and I can't say how long it will be because even I don't know the answer," I apologized, patting his shoulder comfortingly.

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I was sitting in the waiting room at the therapist's office. Apparently she was the best that doctors could recommend. I hope she's cool, because if not, fired. Jokes. I was looking around the room and saw that not many people were here.