ATEEZ Oneshots (Requests Closed)

Wooyoung ~Too Annoying~

Trigger Warning

There is self-harm in this fic. Although it's only small, it is there so please don't read if that is triggering

Wooyoung's POV

I don't know when things started to change. Maybe I always had thoughts in the back of my mind, I just never paid much attention to them. I've definitely been paying attention to them now, especially since I've seen Atiny's comments that practically mirror my thoughts. I've always known I'm loud, that's just who I am and I thought people wouldn't care but I started to notice just how annoying I could be. I noticed the way Hongjoong would rub his temple whenever I was loud, probably giving him a headache when he's been working so hard for us. I see how Seonghwa winces at my tone but is too nice to tell me I'm too loud. How Yunho and Mingi look at each other when I go on my rants, as if complaining about me through their eyes. How Jongho would groan and leave the room, not coming back until later. How even Yeosang looked like I was bothering and annoying him but he still stayed and listened, bless his soul. The only person who doesn't really react, at least not in front of me was San. I know I'm annoying and loud and it hurts to think that I might be frustrating and upsetting the other's, especially when we already don't get much of a break. I never told any of the other's about what I was beginning to think, how I was beginning to feel and how much I was beginning to doubt my personality. It killed me to think I was stopping the other's from getting the relaxation they needed, just because I was too childish and loud. I know I should've talked to someone to try and either assure me that what I was thinking was wrong or to help me feel better and change what I was doing so I didn't feel as bad but I didn't and I think that's where is all went wrong. I knew I was probably becoming depressed. The thoughts just kept circling my mind and I couldn't stop it. Before long I was struggling to actually feel happy, I wore fake smiles so no one would notice. Dancing which used to be something I did for fun, became a chore for me, something I did because I had to not because I enjoyed it. I knew I was probably becoming depressed, I was showing some of the symptoms and I probably should have told someone but I couldn't. ATEEZ had become my life, the members my family and if anyone found out I was broken, I would probably be kicked out and I couldn't even bear the thought. Instead, I kept everything to myself but tried my best to make sure I didn't annoy the other's. I made sure to be more quiet, not being as loud and outgoing as I usually would be. I distanced myself a bit, not being as clingy with the other's so that I wouldn't bother them but it was weighing on me. I had become so used to being clingy with the boys that I felt tired now that I couldn't get any physical affection.

It was the end of another long and exhausting day, full of practicing and stopping myself from annoying the other's. I went to my bed and flopped down, too tired to get changed or do much really. I just wanted to lie down and not get up for years.

"Wooyoung?" I heard Yeosang's voice but I couldn't be bothered moving or opening my eyes.

"Hey, Young-ah. You ok," he asked and I heard the slight concern in his voice. I still couldn't find the energy to reply to him so I didn't. A few seconds later I felt a hand in my hair, brushing my sweaty bangs away from my forehead.

"Come on Wooyoung, look at me for a sec," he said. I slowly peeled my eyes open and looked over to see him kneeled by my bed and looking at me in concern. Great, I'm bothering him again.

"I'm ok, just tired," I whispered, closing my eyes again.

"I know you are but you really need to have a shower first, otherwise you'll wake up feeling sore and dirty tomorrow," he said, squeezing my shoulder softly. I mean it's true but I really don't want to, I don't want to get up.

"Youngie," he questioned, shaking me gently.

"Ok, ok, I'm getting up," I groaned, making him chuckle. I opened my eyes and took a breath before sitting up, blinking as I got a little dizzy but it passed quickly.