Battle Scars

Change

"I want to leave."

The effect was instantaneous. Azriel stiffened beside her, his breath coming in short pants, his shadows too had gone quiet and still- shocked. Rhys who had been standing near the door straightened and walked towards her while the others looked at her in surprise.

"You want to leave?" Rhys wanted to clarify, enunciating each syllable. Eve nodded. "And go where, exactly?" Cassian asked, and Eve had to reign in her surprise at hearing him after so long. His voice was not condescending or sharp, yet, Eve flinched a bit.

"Away... from here." Az flinched. "I don't care if it is two blocks or two miles from here- I just need to get out," Eve clarified.

Rhys nodded. "Will an apartment in Velaris, near the Sidra do?" Eve blinked- she had not expected them to reach discussing houses so soon- she assumed they would have wanted to interrogate her before letting her leave at least.

Az upon hearing his brother' word shook his head- near the Sidra meant music and he knew how much Eve was struggling with it now. While still coming in terms with her decision of leaving and constantly having to remind himself it was not her rejecting him he said, "I have an apartment round the corner. I barely use it and it is warded. You can have the place to yourself." Eve looked at him and nodded. he gave out a breath- he could still see her, if she permitted. She remained near him should anything ever happen.

"When can we go?" she asked. He simply offered her his hand. "If you like it, today." Eve gave a sigh of relief as she took his hand and Az tried to stop the shiver that ran through him at their close proximity.

*******

"Do you need anything else?" Az asked as he help put away last of her things. Eve shook her head, inspecting the bare grey walls. "I will be out of your way then," he said and turned to leave when Eve blurted out, at the prospect of being suddenly alone, "hungry?"

With his hands on the doorknob, Az turned. Clearing her throat, she asked again, "are you hungry?" Az nodded his head slowly and with his eyes locked onto hers, he replied, "starving." Eve gulped.

"I will whip something up then," she said and was about to turn around and go towards the kitchen when Az blurted, "no!" Eve' face turned into a frown. "I mean- let's eat outside instead."

Az' heart pounded as he waited for her reply. Eve- his mate- had offered to make him food and even though her intentions were way different, he could not stop his hitch of breath.

Eve shifted on her feet. "I- can we eat here instead?" Az nodded his head vigorously, "I will get us something." Eve nodded and after hesitating for a moment, he left to get something for them.

Az had never gotten dinner faster in his life. Well, tried to. He had hovered over the chef while they made Eve' favourite dish until the waiter had almost kicked him out for making the chef uncomfortable. He had scowled at them but nevertheless, gone to the exit to pace, throwing glances at the kitchen now and then. When the parcel had finally arrived and been safely tucked between his hands, he bumped into his brother and his High Lady and friend. Feyre had looked at him curiously, eyeing his haphazard state while Rhys had tried to hide a smile that had started to form on his face.

"Eve wanted dinner," he had said in his defence, without any preamble. "We never asked," Rhys said, amusement lacing his voice. Feyre had shaken her head, smiling. "Go ahead, we will see you at breakfast then." For dinner was to be spent with Eve. Az had given her a grateful nod and had been about to leave when Feyre' voice made him pause. "How is she?" a tentative question that made all of them straighten. "Not good," his answer came, strained. A moment passed. Then, "I will inform Bri of her new house." Az had dipped his head in thanks and had rushed off to his waiting mate.

He now took a deep calming breath before he opened the door to Eve' apartment. She was sitting on the parapet that overlooked the townhouse. She did not turn as he came in and placed the food on the counter. "The line was unusually long today." He commented. "It's alright," she replied and hopped off the parapet to join him at the counter.

They sat on the stools, side by side, for the rest of the dinner. It was fairly quiet as neither Eve nor Az said anything to fill the silence. Eve could not bring herself to speak- she did not have the energy to yet, Az did not complain and stayed by her side. She watched as he put the dishes into the basin and sighed. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, she started sobbing.

Az was instantly at her side, his arms supporting her back as she curled up. "What is it?" he asked, his shadows now in chaos. "Me," she replied. Az blinked. "I am terrible company! You just had to sit through an entire dinner with me! I hate this, I hate everything, and I absolutely loathe myself." She rocked.

Az took in a sharp breath. "Don't you dare say that." Eve looked up at him in surprise through her tears. With a softer tone, Az started again. "Don't say that as it is not true. Not one bit. I love spending time with you- no matter if you are sad or happy- I will always be here to spend time with you for I love your company. I am going to be here, should you wish it, for I care about you. And you are a wonderful person Eve, so don't you, not for one second, hate yourself. Don't you dare." He affirmed. Eve looked at him with wide eyes before she hugged the life out of him. Az let her.

"I don't know how long it is going to take me to come back." She sobbed.

"No matter how long, we all are here for you. I am here for you, always." She cried harder. "Promise?" her voice was so fragile. "Promise," Az said and kissed her forehead, sealing it. She sighed but did not let go of him.

After a while, Eve calmed down a bit, making Az relax a bit. Her eyes fluttered and Az took her to the bed, covering her with the blankets. "Thank you," she muttered and Az gave her a soft smile which he could not help as it formed on his face. Her eyes eventually closed while watching his shadows which lulled her to sleep as he sat near her, her hands gripping his- not wanting to let go.

"Stay," she had said to him. He had happily obliged.

Our equal, his shadows whispered to him and he agreed.

Protect, they said and he vowed to do so until his dying breath. 

AHAHAHA I am excited to see where this book goes...

Happy reading, 

XOXO,

the amazing author