𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱 || 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐: 𝐈'𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◈◇◆◇◆◇◆

WARNING: Heavy mentions of violence, murder and blood. Description of a panic attack. Minimum angst.

A/N: I'm not dedicating this chapter to anyone because I feel like it's not material for it lol. But don't worry! I have a list of people I wanna thank and will do in the next chapters.:) ALSO BEFORE STARTING, CHECK OUT THE CHAPTER BEFORE THIS ONE, IT'S PHOENIX'S OUTFITS!!! (It's already uploaded). I FINALLY FOUND SOME PICTURES OF HOW I IMAGINE HER SUIT! There's another A/N on the bottom of the episode, that's very important! If you participate in the activity I would be very grateful! Ok, enjoy!

◇◆◇◆◇◆◈◇◆◇◆◇◆

Y/n's POV

Stupid feet.

Stupid aisle.

Stupid carpet.

Stupid door.

Stupid me.

When I entered my room, I closed the door and stood against it, panting exaggeratedly, trying to catch my breath. No, no, no, no, no.

All of my limbs were shaking, my legs feeling like jelly beneath me, so I slowly dropped to the floor and hugged my knees. My eyes couldn't focus on anything in particular, making my surroundings incredibly dizzy. My heart thudded quickly in my chest, racing as fast as a naboo starfighter. The bloodrush pounded strongly on my ears, warming my whole face and almost deafening me. But the air. That was the worst part. I felt my chest tightening and closing around my lungs, like a heavy weight squeezing the last remnant of oxygen in my body. Oh man, I really screwed up this time.

My hands grabbed the door behind me and took the impulse to push myself up. My feet were dragged across the living room door to my kitchen sink, and I cupped some water and threw it on my face, hoping it would help me cool down. The continous splashing hit my face again and again, transforming itself from a muscle relaxer to a cold punishment. Every time a new wave of liquid would touch me, a new memory from minutes ago arised.

Splash. Him kissing my thighs.

Splash. His hand around my neck.

Splash. Him on top of me, thrusting.

I decided that my current actions weren't doing anything to help me out, so I walked to the little balcony and I sat in one of the lower walls, the height perfectly adapting to my butt level so I could rest easily.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to focus solely on the alleviating relief of the air passing through my nose. The process was repeated over and over again, until the pumping of my heart slowed down and the pain on my forehead dissipated.

My heavy eyelids opened when I felt calm enough. And if I wasn't already better, the always stunning city view erased the last signs of my panic attack. Just like a toddler in front of the TV, I stared at it for a good amount of time, just rocking my body soundly.

What the hell have I done?

I tried really hard to not throw myself a pity party. I mean, ultimately, I knew how wrong it was and I still decided to go ahead and provoke him. I played along this whole time.

That time when I watched him fuck the maid. That time when we kissed in the alley. Or when we kissed on the window by Qui-Gon's office.

Oh, Force, Qui-Gon.