Blazing Forward

Chapter 31

"We told you last week that she's going to Galina's house tonight, she's spending the night." Patricia said.

"Daddy's here, can I go next weekend?" Jojo asked.

"I'll call her and ... wait, change of plans anyway. She just texted me, she's on her way to the hospital. Jojo, you're gonna have a little sister soon. Ooh, come here bebé, you smell foul." I smiled as I picked Ian up.

"Ari, they didn't drink milk while you were gone." Patricia said.

"Okay, I'll feed them after I shower and change your stinky butt." I muttered.

Mel took Ian back to the living room after I changed him, so I could take a quick shower and prepare myself mentally. We've perfected this routine perfectly, timing it exactly with the twins' feeding time. After my shower, Mel and I took the twins to the nursery and she helped me latch them both. My husband walked in and my sister glared at him before walking out.

"Arianna, baby, you can't keep ignoring me." he said after closing the door.

"Oh, but I can." I said, answering an email from my phone.

"That's not gonna help us resolve this problem."

"You realize, don't you, that we wouldn't have this problem if you actually talked to me from the get go? What happened? You think so little of me that you thought I couldn't handle it? Or what, that I'd leave? Take the boys and leave you when you need us the most?" I asked.

His silence spoke volumes and it honestly shocked me.

"Wow ... okay, I ... wow."

"Ari, no, that's not ... no baby, that's not it." he quickly stated.

"I didn't realize that you saw me in that manner; flighty, like you can't trust me. That, um ... that speaks horribly about ... okay." I said, trying not to cry.

"Arianna, look at me." he said.

"I ... I'm so sorry." I whispered when I looked up at him.

I really thought both of us were past my toxic trait of splitting when things get tough. We have talked about it at length and we decided on making certain that we talk through our problems. It goes back to my bad past relationship and he helped me figure it out. Le supported me talking about it finally and gave me all of the time to do so at my comfort. I really thought we were over it. The last time it happened, I was pregnant and it hasn't happened again.

"Baby listen to me, that's not it." he insisted.

"Don't start lying now."

"I just ... Ari, I didn't know how to tell you."

"But you knew how to tell the fucking world! Sorry, bebés, sorry my babies." I muttered, soothing the twins after my outburst.

"The last time this happened, the first time ..."

"You were with Galina." I said.

"Yeah, I told her when I was first diagnosed and she left."

"She left?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah, it was just the two of us but when she found out, she packed a bag and left." he sighed.

"Leati, I love you, but you have to stop comparing me to Galina. I understand that you had a bad experience before and how you could make that connection to now, but I'm not her."

"I know, Ari, I'm sorry."

"I know." I repeated.

"How can I fix this?" he asked.