coldblood || Michael Afton X Reader

chapter 17 ~ the day his world stood still 2.0

This Chapter is told from Michael Afton's POV.

ANGUISH

I made my way to the bathroom to calm my spinning mind. Y/N wanted to leave me, in hopes to find me. A feeling of anguish set in. I still hadn't told her it was me. I was starting to wonder how long I could keep this secret from her. Hearing the words "I still love him" come straight from her mouth all felt surreal. I tried my best to focus and figure out how to break the news, but she figured that out for me.

I was ready to walk out of the bathroom, and as I opened the door and my heart sunk to my stomach. I saw her staring at our picture together. I really did it this time. The look on her face told me everything I needed to know. I mentally began to scold myself already. Whatever happened after this would be all my fault too. I was begging for Y/N to give me a chance to explain, the anger and confusion she clearly felt was obvious. It was written all over her beautiful features.

She allowed me to sit next to her to explain everything, even letting me put my arm around her. I was starting to feel as if the chances of Y/N running off and leaving me were decreasing, and I tried to relax. I remember my father cutting me a deal that he wouldn't harm me or Y/N if I tricked her into thinking I was someone else while getting back together with her. I explained to her how much I anguished to yell out my last name. In spite of that, I knew I couldn't. I needed to keep her protected, same goes for me.

She stood up and fixed her hair ever so subtly before shouting at me in a way that I'd never heard her shout at anyone else. She ran through the past, our past together. Recalling everything we'd stuck by each other through. Clearly angered at the factor that I didn't tell her the truth. She was so upset because she thought I'd given up on our strength as a couple.

Before I could respond, she stormed out of the house. She slammed her car door shut and sped off. Driving with these emotions were never a good idea, my heart began to descend even further in dread about what may happen. The heart making it's descent began to shatter upon realizing what I'd done. I broke one of our biggest promises, to never keep secrets from each other. I broke it in a huge way, by keeping a secret that the person who'd she cried over countless nights out of desperation and hope to find him, sat right next to her.

I held her knowing I was the fucking person she was weeping about almost everyday. I was right there this whole time, but I kept that a secret from her. I'd been lost in my thoughts for nearly 10 minutes when I received a phone-call from Jennie. I felt an increasingly ill feeling creep into my stomach before I answered the phone. Jennie was trying to catch her breath. She'd clearly been sent into a panic over something. The words that I heard next confirmed my suspicions, and my faults.

"It's Y/N. She's in a really bad car accident, she's no conscious. Get to the hospital now." The distressed Jennie struggled to get out before hanging up the phone. I covered my mouth with my hand in terror of what might've happened. It was all my fault. I'd killed someone I loved for a second time. I couldn't get in my car. I was terrified of how I was feeling at the moment. I doubt it would be a good idea to drive feeling this way. Then again, wouldn't it serve me right to die the same way she might?

Instead of going right away, I did my best to gain some composure before finally heading out to my car. I sent a text stating I was on my way, doing everything I could to hold back any tears that may try to escape between now and the trip to hell.

I hated hospitals. The noises, the beeping, the smell, it all reminded me of being with my brother in his final moments before he passed away. Due to my own error and lack of judgement. It was all happening again, because I thought I was doing the right thing. My brother, to try and toughen him up for when he got older. Y/N, my love, to try and protect her so we'd still have each other when we got older. Both for the same and opposite reasons at the same time. Irony.