Fix My Heart

Chapter 18

                             Veronica's POV
"I've been talking to you for hours! You've screamed in my goddamn face! You told me straight to my face that, I'm not real!"

"T-that's because I-I thought I was hearing shit. P-please d-don't do this to me."

I slapped him again.

"Go fuck yourself Jacob Winters! Franco's better than you! Maybe...you should listen to that negative voice in your head! You could drop dead tomorrow and I probably wouldn't give a flying shit!"

He started hyperventilating.

"I wasted my time on you! Someone else will love you! That person IS NOT me!"

Lakelyn ran into his room.

"Veronica what the hell are you doing?! This isn't why I called you!"

"He's not himself!"

"HE'S DEPRESSED! YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF, WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED!"

He fell to his knees.

"I don't love you anymore."

That's a lie.

"You are DEAD to me! Got it?!"

I stomped away.

Jacob's POV
There she went. The love of my love just broke the rest of my heart. My sister got down in front of me. She started hugging me.

"I lost her again! I lost her again! I hate my life!"

"Shhh. Don't say that. Try to distract yourself with your music."

"What's the point? All of my songs are happy. I can't be depressed. Plus...people would hate Veronica. I-I can't do that to her. She doesn't deserve it."

I stopped sleeping and eating. I essentially stopped living. I stayed in bed all day. I faked my emotions on tour. I perfected faking smiles. It worked. Everyone wasn't able to tell that, I was dying on the inside. The only one who knew was me. I started taking my depression out on my body. I started cutting my thighs. It's easier to hide them that way.

I still wasn't sleeping or eating. I was punishing myself for everything. I couldn't take a break from everything. I had to earn money. A few months after everything happened, I got my own house. It's quiet as hell. I kept to myself. I didn't leave my house if I didn't have to go anywhere. Now I'm 21 and I'm still miserable.

I couldn't let her go. She was and still is the love of my life. She obviously doesn't love me anymore. Someone who loves you, wouldn't treat someone they way that, she treated me. Veronica made her own music. I stopped listening to the radio since I kept hearing her voice.

One day, I heard one of her songs. Every lyric was a stab to my heart. Then I heard the news. She was engaged. That was what sent me over the edge. I ran to my kitchen. I grabbed a knife. I ran up to my bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. I started shaking. I brought the knife up to my throat. I yanked it across. I slit my throat.

If I can't speak then..

I won't fuck up.

I sat in the shower and watched my blood go down the drain. I listened to what she said. I listened to the negative voice in my head. I started crying. I shut my eyes. I just waited for me to die. I waited for me to be free of my pain.