Fix My Heart

Chapter 22

Jacob's POV
"I needed you and you left me. You left me stuck in my own dark mind. I was drowning in my goddamn tears. I haven't eaten well since then. I haven't slept well since then."

"Y-you haven't?"

"No. What's the point? I didn't have a reason to live. Mine walked outta my life."

I looked at her left hand. I saw a ring.

"That your engagement ring?"

"No. I-I broke up with him. T-this is the promise ring you gave me."

"Well that promise was shattered. Oh do you know I started online school? I was so depressed to even leave my room. Now you can apologize all you want. It doesn't change how I feel. This is always going to be a part of us. You told me..me being depressed wasn't good for your health. You being depressed wasn't good for mine and I didn't say shit. I did what I always do. I put someone else's feelings before mine. And once again...it backfired on me. I was actually surprised. I've been bottling this shit up for years. I-I don't know if I'm supposed to yell at you. If I'm supposed to hug you. I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Hearing you saying everything you did..murdered me. Especially when you slapped me not once. But twice."

"I-I wish I could fix this."

"Me too Veronica. Me fucking too."

"I-I really love you."

I scoffed.

"What you've been doing, isn't love. It's cruel. It's painful. Why the fuck are you even here?"

"Your sister made a good point."

"Oh so it took 5 years, me slitting my throat, and a conversation with my sister for you to come back around? You really have changed. I-I wish I could tell you where, you changed. But honestly...I've been so depressed...I can't even tell. I'm stuck in a hole. There's no ladder to use so I can climb out."

She started hugging me. I started crying. I looked up at the celling. I caved in. I wrapped my arms around her. I started holding her tight.

"I'm so sorry Jacob."

She cupped my face and pressed our foreheads together. I started crying.

"You're okay. I'm never leaving again."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I pulled the song."

"Y-you did?"

"Yes."

I cupped her face.

"Y-you didn't have to do that."

"But...it hurt you. T-this is how I'm trying to fix this."

She started kissing me.

"You seriously fucked me up. Not in a good way."

"Oh! Oh! I have an idea how I could make this better!"

"And that is?"

"I could move in!"

"Y-you'd like to do that?"

She smiled.

"Mhm! That way...things can go back to normal."

"Your version is normal is?"

"You seeing me every day. We'd sleep in the same bed together again. Maybe do something else."

"You sneaky little-"

"What?"

"Were you expecting this?"

"Honestly? No. I wasn't. I was expecting you to go off."

I moved hair out of her face.

"Go off how? Like yell at you?"

She shook her head.

"I was expecting you to hit me or burn me."

"What?! I-I'd never!"

"I-I'm sorry. I wanted you to say how much I fucked up. I wanted you to physically hurt me."

"Baby I-no!"

"I missed hearing you call me that."

"I'd never hit you."

"I kinda deserve it. I did slap you twice."

"Stopppppp."

"What?"

"What're we doing here?"

"Well...you see...."

"If you're using me for a baby get out."

"Woah! Hell no!"