Fix My Heart

Chapter 21

Jacob's POV
"You seem pretty happy in the media."

"Y-you've been following me?"

"Not by choice. You're on the news every other week doing those show appearances. I drive without the radio because of you."

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah. I can't bring myself to listen to your songs. Oh and let's not mention the fact...you're engaged."

She cupped my face.

"Jacob...I'm so sorry."

"Don't lie. You told me, you didn't give a flying fuck if I dropped dead."

I took her hands off my face.

"I want my Ronnie back."

"I-I'm still your Ronnie!"

I shook my head.

"But you're not. You're not my Ronnie. I lost my Ronnie the moment when, she essentially told me to kill myself. My Ronnie is missing. I can't find her. I give up. She's obviously not coming back to me. She must be dead. I-I'm sorry but I-I can't do this."

I shut the door. I locked the door and started crying. I dragged myself back up to my room. I turned off all the lights and hid under my blanket. The next day, someone knocked on my door. Once again, I dragged myself out of bed. I opened the door. I saw Veronica again.

"Yes?"

"I'm coming in. You can't stop me."

I rolled my eyes. She ducked under my arm and walked inside. I shut the door and locked it.

"What do you want?"

"How can I make this better?"

I shrugged.

"No idea."

"J....I feel horrible."

"Since day fucking one, I've been there for you. I held a gun up to my head and you weren't around. You didn't see the whole thing. You only saw, what you did."

"Jacob..."

"For 5 years now...I've wanted to die. 5 YEARS. You were nowhere to be found."

"I-I didn't know."

"You didn't see past all the fake smiles?"

"N-no."

"Damn. And I thought you knew me well."

"Y-you're not my Jacob."

"Yeah no shit Veronica. We could've been married with kids now."

"Jake.."

"Stop saying my fuckin name. Just...stop. Just...stand there and listen. I tried to hate you. I tried so hard. I thought if I did...I'd let go of you but...at the end of the day. I love you and I can't hate you. I can't let you go. I've only been alive in case...you came back. Your engagement...threw me off the edge. Your song kills me too."

"I-it's just one song. The rest are demos."

"Doesn't matter. It still hurts. You make me seem like the bad guy. So maybe I am."

"You're not! I am!"

"Don't yell. Just...just don't. Is this really what I get for protecting you?"

"No. I-it's not."

"I slept on your bedroom floor for weeks. I hid in your closet with you. I was never mad about you cheating. I understood that you didn't understand what it meant. But after everything else? I-I'm absolutely broken. Hell, I'm probably permanently broken. Maybe...I can't be fixed. I'll be honest. It is your fault. I gave you everything you fucking wanted. You were my goddamn world. That all came crashing down that day. I gave you every spare minute I had. You gave me 4 hours. Then...you blew up on me. You left. All because I was having a mental breakdown. Who does that?"