Fix My Heart

Chapter 13

Jacob's POV
I gotta fucking see her!

Why is she ignoring me?!

Fuck this!

I grabbed her gift then I ran to the front door and opened it.

"Where are you going?! We have company!"

I didn't answer.

"You're gonna get sick!"

I walked next door. I went up to the door and went to ring the doorbell.

No.

That scares her.

Instead of ringing the doorbell, I knocked on the door. I heard it unlock. I started shivering.

Please be here!

Please be Veronica!

Kim opened the door.

"I was just thinking about getting you."

"Please tell me she's here."

"She's in her room. She's been in there since she got home from the hospital."

"Has she been hurting herself?"

"I honestly don't know. I haven't seen her in weeks."

"What?!"

"She won't talk or look at me. She hasn't even gone to school. I pick up her work then, I drop it off when's she's done. If she eats then I don't know. Come in before you freeze to death."

I walked inside and Kim shut the door.

"I don't know what to do. Maybe you can get her to associate with people again. They banned Lakelyn from the hospital room. She hasn't seen her since. She thinks your family hates her. That's all I got from your sister."

I walked up the stairs and started walking to Veronica's room. I went to knock on her door but something told me to just open it and walk in. As quietly as I could, I opened the door. I walked over to her and saw she was sleeping. I moved hair out of her face.

Holy shit.

Her eye..

I didn't think it'd be that bad.

Does she still have it or did they have to take it out?

She's probably been in so much pain.

And I haven't been here to help.

I saw her notebook and picked it up. I opened it and started going through it.

She's been writing songs?

These are actually kinda good.

Woah.

She put the dates on them too?

Did she start these after she left the hospital?

They're all about me...

She's blames herself?

She froze.

She panicked.

It's not her fault.

It's a good thing Caleb's dead.

If he wasn't..

I'd tie bricks to his ankles and arms then throw him into shark infested waters.

She hasn't been sleeping?

I knew I saw her the other day!

I fucking knew that was her!

I shouldn't wake her.

She does look exhausted.

I went to a blank page and grabbed her pencil.

No.

I shouldn't leave.

That'd be wrong.

She's been alone for so long.

Fuck it.

I have to talk to my sister!

More like yell at her!

I wrote her a note.

I came to see you but you were sleeping. I read everything too. You should've came to me. I'm not mad at you. I never was. Come find me when you're ready. Merry Christmas V.

-Jacob

I'm gonna fucking lose it.

I put the notebook and pencil down. I put her gift next to it. I kissed her forehead then walked away. I shut her door.

"She didn't talk to you?"

"No. She's sleeping. Did you know she was this depressed?"

"No. It's like I said. I haven't seen her in weeks."

"Please have her come find me when she wakes up. I'm worried."

I ran back to my house. I went to find my sister.

"Oh no. You're mad."

"We have to talk."

She gulped.

"Why didn't you tell me ANYTHING about Veronica?"

"I-I didn't know much. They kicked me out of the hospital room. Nobody told me anything. I swear, if I knew I would've said something. She hasn't talked to me since I last saw her."

I clenched my jaw.

"Did you see her?"

"Yeah. She was sleeping. She's been writing songs. She's fucking depressed."

"Worse than you were with Jensen?"

"MUCH worse!"

Our cousin Billie walked up to us.

"Dinner's done. Your dad told me to get you."

At dinner, I played with my food more than I ate. I put the right side of my face in right hand on the table.

"You okay J?"

I shook my head.

"Did you see her?"

I nodded.

"He said that she was sleeping."

Why did she shut people out?!

Goddamnit she doesn't understand that's not good for her!

I should've gone over there more to check on her!

Jesus fucking Christ I am so dumb!

What kind of a boyfriend am I?!

Both of my legs started bouncing.

Merry fucking Christmas.

My girlfriend has been suffering without me knowing.