Save Me But Don't Hurt Yourself. Justin Phan x Y/n fanfiction.

Chapter 3 ~ ThErE fOR yOu

T/W: PANIC ATTACK/ANXIETY
I surprisingly put my head on his shoulder, having no control over my actions.

He gets startled and jumps up a bit, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I say as I lift my head off his shoulder suddenly feeling self-conscious, "Y/n, it's okay, you don't have to be sorry, I was just a bit startled.

You can put your head on my shoulder, if you want to. I don't mind." Justin says, a warm look in his eyes as he looks at me.

"Oh, okay, thank you," I whisper to him then continue talking to the boys,

"I'm sorry about earlier today guys, at the cafe. We were just play fighting."

The boys laugh and tell me it's fine, also that it was pretty funny to watch.

The car ride went pretty fast, all of us laughing at jokes and having fun, but the closer we got to Stanford, the more anxious I got.

I fiddled with my hands and chewed on my bottom lip as I felt a panic attack coming, my thoughts spiralling out of control, getting more dangerous by the second.

You'll fail both exams, you're stupid. You don't deserve to be at Stanford. You're a disgrace to their name. They'll be shamed to have ever accepted you after they see how bad you do on these mid-terms. Also you're a fatass, I feel bad for Justin. His legs must be dying from how heavy you are. See how he's squirming, it's probably from your weight. Imagine being ugly as fuck, a fatass and stupid enough to fail two mid-terms you have in 15 minutes.

'Shut up, shut up, shut up' I chant to myself, trying to get my brain to quiet down, my anxiety increasing.

"Just shut up you dumb piece of shit." I accidentally say out loud, everyone turning to look at me as I squeeze my eyes shut trying to get my anxiety to calm down, my hands start shaking and it becomes harder for me to breathe.

Everyone asks me if I'm okay, the knot in my chest growing, anxiety taking over my whole body as tears filled my eyes.

"YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP CUH! She's having a panic attack and your not making it better."
Justin yells, turning me around so I'm facing him, a leg of mine on each side of his.

"Hey, look at me, I'm gonna touch your face, okay? Is that fine?" He asks, I nod, his voice soft and quiet, calming me down a bit.

He lifts my face up to his and asks me to open my eyes and when I do, I come eye to eye with his blue-grey-brownish irises.

"We're gonna take deep breathes okay? Let's do some square breathing. Breathe in, 1,2,3,4, hold, 1,2,3,4, breathe out, 1,2,3,4, hold, 1,2,3,4."

We do that a couple more times and I felt a lot calmer than I did earlier, my body relaxing into his as he hugs me, telling me everything will be okay.

After a few moments of silence in the car, I decide to speak up and ask Justin,

"How did you know what to do? I mean how did you know physical contact helps me with my panic attacks."

He stares at my face for a couple of moments before speaking up,

"To be frank, I had no fucking idea physical contact would help you. It was my gut feeling (iykyk) it would and I guess I right, bruh."

He says as he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear,

"I'm jus glad I could help you, and don't worry, you'll do great on your mid-terms. I know I've only known you for a little while, but I can tell your smart as fuck. Also that your hard-working and can do anything you put your mind to and remember, I'm there for you."

The sincerity in his voice and eyes making me feel better and the anxiety subsiding from my body.

Without thinking twice I hug him, my body fitting right into his, the warmth radiating off of him making me feel at home.

"Thank you, it's been a while since someone other than Nathan has made me feel better. Like, known what to do."

I felt quite nice, thinking about how I may not actually be a lost cause, after all.