Undercover Lovers (EmilyPrentissxReader)

Cracking

based on the episode 'a thin line' s7 ep 15 - there is canon case and dialogue so i hope you don't find that stuff boring when i do it :/ - though again, i didn't include loads because some of the content of this episode was a bit sensitive and i didn't wanna include it just in case
warnings - angst; the kinda depressed kind, canon angst and injury, small panic attack and vomit mention

Your pen tapped against your desk as you failed to focus on paperwork, your hand rubbed over your face in a sigh at your lack of concentration. Emily and Derek were doing some kind of training session this morning with trainee agents, they'd asked you to join but you needed to catch up on paperwork. You've been feeling drained and tired lately, sleep still broken and restless and you'd fallen behind, not being able to properly focus on the casefiles and missing a couple of deadlines.

You couldn't help the anxiousness you were feeling this morning, leg bouncing beneath your desk as you tried to keep your thoughts from drifting. You're frustrated with yourself, angry that things still aren't okay, that having Emily back hasn't stopped you feeling crappy, from feeling tense and apathetic.

Your days were brighter sure, she has a talent for that, for making everything seem a little bit better, warmer and more bearable. She knows how to make you smile, to kiss you in a way that makes you feel like everything could be okay. But despite how much you wished it to be the case, things weren't better - it had only eased with having her back but things were still painful.

The time that she was gone, when your heart was crushing under the weight of grief, it tore you apart. You had already been taken down at the hands of your kidnapper, Michael Andrews, haunted by his face, his pain filled hands on your body. And just as you were finally starting to put yourself back together, Emily was gone, ripped from you when you were finally letting yourself hold onto her dearly.

You were left with nothing, just the absence of yourself in a pile of flesh and bones. And now she was back and you thought it would fix things but the wounds seem too deep, worse than she can mend. Truth is, you're longing for an out, just something to stop this pain. You couldn't leave Emily but you needed a fresh start; for now though you'll be as happy with her as you can be, grasp at the pieces of you you can find and trust 'okay' is coming.

Your rested your forehead in your palm as your thoughts whirled around your skull - why couldn't you just feel okay? You wouldn't let yourself cry, wouldn't let anybody see and worry about you - you're fine, just having trouble sleeping, it'll be okay...it'll be okay.

You startled at a hand resting on your shoulder and a mug of coffee clunking down on your desk, turning to see Emily looking down at you with a worried smile.

"You okay?" She asked you with a soft squeeze to your shoulder.

"Yeah, just bored of these files." You returned, taking a sip of the coffee she'd brought you. "How was your training thing with Morgan?" You asked, smiling at the way she rolled her eyes. "That bad?"

"Yeah - no, I don't know. He was just a little hard on the trainees. 'In the field sorry doesn't bring people back.'" She imitated, putting on a deep 'Derek voice' which made you throw your head back in laughter.

"Oh, I think we're being summoned." You spoke seeing Penelope gesturing you over towards the briefing room. "You look so beautiful today." You whispered as you passed her, eyeing her white blouse that showed her chest adorned with her necklace, black trousers accentuating her long legs. You didn't miss the way she blushed at your words, always feeling a little but smug when you were able to get her bashful and flustered.

"San Bernardino, California. Two home invasions in less than a week, only a block apart. Exact same M. O. Both houses were burgled, power and phone lines cut, and they broke in through a back window." Penelope informed you as you sat around the table, Emily trying to get you back by crossing her legs beneath the table with the heel of her shoe brushing over your leg.