Undercover Lovers (EmilyPrentissxReader)

The Flood

warnings  - this one's pretty angsty; nightmare, panic attack, lots of crying, vomit mention, uh sad y/n basically, allusions to anxiety and depression

You were tired, so, so tired - physically and emotionally. Things seem to be getting worse, dragging you down and you're zoning out at work, falling behind on paperwork so much so that Emily has been helping you with it. You dread the nighttime because you either toss and turn and barely sleep or you have nightmares you have to be shaken awake from, they've been digging their claws in and rather than how you'd usually shoot awake Emily has been woken up by you thrashing around - softly calling your name until your eyes would blink open.

The stress of everything feels suffocating, nightmares choking you and you feel like such a burden to Emily, your sweet, sweet Emily. You don't want her to see you suffer, to hear the thoughts agonisingly swirling around your skull, you keep shutting her out much to her frustration and you're surprised she's stuck around these past two weeks.

You were on the way back from a case, gulping down probably your fifth coffee of the day, barely able to keep your eyes open despite the caffeine. The overhead light of the jet was on because of the dark night sky outside the window as everyone sat around in casual conversation; the case had been a difficult one so everybody was sitting together. Emily was beside you with JJ and Derek across the table with Hotch, Rossi and Spencer at the table across the aisle.

You couldn't focus on the conversation in your tiredness, resting your heavy head on Emily's shoulder but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't keep your eyes open, slowly blinking into sleep.

"She hasn't slept for two nights." Emily sighed once she knew you were dead to the world, looking at you worriedly stroking her fingers through your hair.

"Two nights?" JJ asked in shock though nobody was overly surprised from the dark circles beneath your eyes. "Why?"

"She's still getting nightmares or if she's not having one she's just not really sleeping. She told me she's scared to go to sleep because of them."

"Poor Y/N/N." Derek sighed. "Are they about...?"

"She doesn't tell me a lot - you know how she is." She replied earning nods from everyone else. "She's said they're about when she was held in that basement and uh, me."

"She struggled in that time you were away." Rossi spoke. "She barely opened up to me but one day I just held her whilst she cried - I think it's just everything piling up."

"She's not given herself time to sort through everything she's gone through - I tried to get her to talk to me but..." JJ added sadly.

You were in a house and it was peaceful, bright. Sunlight floated through the windows, a light breeze blowing the curtains and the gentle whistling of birds filling your ears. It smelled like freshly cut grass and Emily's scent of amber and figs, you were happy, a soft smile tugging at your lips. The living room was cosy, a blanket hanging over the back of the plush sofa, cushions scattered around, a few books piled on the coffee table beside a steaming cup of tea.

The kitchen was bright and clean, a bowl of fruit piled high and a vase of tiger lillies on the counter. You wandered up the stairs, a light creaking of the wood beneath your feet, walking into your bedroom. A large, unmade bed sat beneath a window, just as you and Emily often leave it. A bookcase piled high with novels, a wardrobe with both of your clothes within it. It was the perfect home for the two of you, bright and warm.

"Emily?" You called out, peering your head around the doorway of the study finding it empty. You ran down the stairs to look for her, furrowing your brows in fear at the way the wooden step fell apart behind you and suddenly you were speeding up your steps as everything started disappearing at your feet.