falling for him || chris sturniolo

part 13

i wake up from that wretched dream. it was so vivid it was like i relived that moment. i knew one thing for sure, i needed to talk to chris. alone.  i still had to go to school but it gave me time to think of what i was going to say to chris. 

i couldn't think of anything but how this convo was going to go down all day. school went by like a blur, i don't remember anything that was taught today. i wait for chels to get to the car so we could go home. she takes her usual 10-15 minutes to make her way out of the school.

chels talked nonstop the whole ride home, which i didn't pick up anything on. we get home and i go inside to drop my school stuff in my room, then i walk in the chels' room

"hey, can you tell mom that i might not be home for dinner?" i asked

"umm yeah why"

"i have something i need to do and i don't know how long it will take"

"OMG IVY, pls tell me the rumors aren't true!" she squealed jumping off her bed running over to me.

"what rumors?"

"oh never mind you don't know" she brushed it off like it was nothing

"chelsie. what. rumor."

"oh nothing" she turned her back towards me "only that you and chris did it yesterday when you were over at their house"

"CHELSIE WHAT THE FUCK" i screamed. i was beyond mad. what kind of messed up minds would come up with that shit. "of course i didn't do it with chris. GOD"

we sat in silence for a couple of seconds while i try to process this.

"why do people think so?" i asked her.

"well, nick posted on his story of you guys in the car. and you were in his clothes."

"omg. chels i got nacho cheese spilt all over me."

"that's not all"

"oh"

"chris went live and everyone saw a pile of girl clothes next to his bed."

in that moment i realized i forgot my clothes at their house. i wasn't too worried about the rumors because they aren't true, i was more worried about the cheese marinating into my shirt.

"fuck. chels i just put them there. chris and i don't even get along."

"oh ivy, i didn't tell you i believed in the rumors, i just told you there was one." she laughed "chris would never go for you" this made her fall to the floor.

i rolled my eyes and walked out "anyways don't forget to tell mom i'm gone"

i get into my car and drive over to the sturniolos house. again i could think of nothing other than this future conversation. i pull up to their driveway and take a deep breathe before getting out and walking up to the door. i ring the doorbell and wait for someone to open it.

it was taking a moment for someone to come, so i rang the bell again. a moment later i heard the door unlock and it swung open to a sleepy ass chris rubbing his eyes.

"awe good moring princess, i hope i didn't wake you up." chris didn't find this amusing at all. in fact he turned around a closed the door right in my face.

i could hear him walking away but from the sound of it i don't think he locked the door back up. i hesitate at first but i just welcome myself in.

"go away ivy" chris said as i step through the door and take off my shoes.

"i wish i could but we need to talk."

to this chris moaned as he most likely swore under his breathe.

"come on" he said as he motioned me to follow him. we went to his room and i sat on one end of the couch while he slowly made his way to the other.

"can i ask you something?" i said. chris didn't reply but just simply looked at me in a way that said 'go on'.

"why do you hate me?" i looked down at my hands that i was picking at. "i mean, we use to be so close and you're the only one that seems to not remember"

"oh i remember all right." he said "i remember you leaving our birthday party and never talking to us again. i remember how depressed nick and matt got over you. i remember wishing you'd call us. i remember wanting to talk to you over ANYTHING and EVEYTHING."

i didn't know what to say. i never thought about the boys and how they might have felt after i swore not to see them.

"ivy?" i looked up "i remember." chris said this in a soft low tone.

"chris i-" he didn't let me finish.

"you left us ivy. you don't know how many nights i spent wanting to call you and make sure you were okay, you left nick and matt devastated and that broke me. it got to the point where we had to ban using your name to avoid tears."

this was hitting me hard. i was on the verge of tears but i knew i had to keep them in.

"why? why did you?" he asked

"i... i was embarrassed. it was my first time in a large gathering since my parents died and i just remember shawn being a bitch and my suit getting untied"

chris starting laughing

"OH MY GOD I REMEMBER TH- AAAA- TTT" he was having a hard time catching his breath from laughing so hard.

i smiled and waited for him to calm down before i started again.

"as i was saying... i remember you DEFENDING shawn making jokes about my mom and dad." i was getting emotional, anytime i thought of my parents i did.

"i-" i was choking on my words while trying not to cry. i noticed chris inch towards me.

"ivy. i realized what shawn said was beyond wrong and i apologize for ever defending him. and about your suit, it wasn't on purpose" he grinned "i just remember your bright red face staring back at me screaming that i purposely untied your suit."

i buried in face in my hands trying to forget.

"STOPPPP" i yelled into them and staring laughing. i felt chris move close to me on the couch.

"are you okay?" he asked as he put a hand on my shoulder.

"yeah." i lifted my head and met his eyes with mine. "you don't know how sorry i am for leaving. stupid 12 year old hormones make you do stupid things. i never meant to hurt you or matt and nick, that is the last thing i'd ever want to do. i was just embarrassed and i guess that turned into anger when i remember you defending him and at some point it just felt as if it was you making the jokes."

i paused

"you don't have to forgive me for what i did, because what i did was wrong and selfish." i continued "i just don't want you to hate me."

i heard the front door open downstairs and heard matt and nick talking. i looked back over to chris,

"are we good?"

he didn't respond. his face just went stone cold.

"i don't know." he finally said. "i don't know if i can forgive you for what you put us through. not yet i don't know i ever can."

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i hope you guys enjoyed :)

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