30 : Burnt or Drowned

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Dazed

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Dazed.
I'm living most part of my days, in a daze since a long time now.
Things are starting to not make sense anymore.
I'm pushing myself to not let it affect my studies, but other than that, most of my day just passes by in front of my eyes.
It passes slowly, yet it feels like it ended in minutes. I myself don't know what that means.

" What do you say, Mimi? "
I heard Avi's cheerful voice, and my daze broke.

" Huh? " I frowned, turning to look at them.

We were sitting in the campus cafe, at the table in the corner, beside the window.

My entire focus was on this leaf, that was being dragged around by the wind, in circles.

It was a simple leaf,
a broken leaf,
and it looked lonely.

I know that sounds stupid, but it did.

And it was being dragged around by the stubborn wind that paid no heed to where the leaf wanted to go.

But what's the use, it's broken.
It's separated from the tree that gave it nourishment and kept it alive and thriving.
It won't be long before it dries out and dies.
So no matter where the wind is dragging it, it's going to end up useless.
A waste of energy on their part.

Just what the hell is wrong with me?
What now?
I'll start writing poetry or something?
Ughhh...

" MIMI " I heard a shout.

I looked at my friends, just to see them sad and disappointed.
Like always.

I sighed.
" I'm sorry guys. What were you saying? "

They all looked like they wanted to dig deeper, but I spoke before they could.
" Please, guys.
So, what did you ask? "

Piku heaved a breath and asked
" We have decided to go and watch a movie this weekend. It'll soon be out of theaters. "

" Yeah " I nodded and looked out of the window, but suddenly turned to them in haste
" Oh and ask Haans. "

They all shared a look.

" What? " I asked, even though I had an idea of what was to come.

" He won't be able to join us. " Viki mumbled.

I inhaled a long breath.
I knew it.
How can I forget the reason for my newfound everlasting daze?

It's been like this for a few weeks now. Haans doesn't hang out with us that often.
It's always some preplanned adventure they embark on, rather than hanging out with us.

He's had girlfriends before, but not once did he put us in a position like this. We were never the second option.

𝑰 was never the second priority.

It can make me sound like a spoiled girl who wants herself to be the first priority, but I don't give a flying f***.
I've always been the first priority of his life. I'm used to that.
And it's not like he has to choose something cliche, like between me and his career.
I know the importance of one's career, and I'll never mess it up for Haans.

𝕺𝖚𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖀𝖙𝖔𝖕𝖎𝖆Where stories live. Discover now