Innocents 💠Slow Updates

Wholesome

I was sitting on the couch beside Jay watching the movie. Well the movie was playing but I wasn't watching it Jay was though "I was there when my mum died" Jay looks at me "no one ever talks about it" "it was five years ago" "what happen" I pause tensing "you don't have to" he immediately said I didn't know if dad had even told Stella. "I have have been dreaming about it since it happened not like the firehouse more of the lead up. I had dreams of me saving her and everything being perfect" he smiles at me "I have those type of dreams about some of my solider friends" "you wish you could save them" he nods the movie long since forgotten. "She told me to stay calm that everything was going to be ok" I said sighing resting my head on the back of the couch facing him him in a similar position to me.

"She kept saying that daddy would come and save me...when I was younger I think it was a year or two before I wanted to light our house on fire because I missed dad and wanted to see him" he laughs "mummy talked me out of it obviously" i add "you know we caught the guys who went into the firehouse so you don't have to worry" he said "the bang that day was what wakes me it's not always in the same place sometimes me and mum are running through the park and than the bang happens and I wake up" I said completely disregarding what he said "when I was worried about mouse being back there my mind created scenarios where I got woken up by gunshots" he told me not caring that I didn't address his comment. "No one is going to hurt your dad or the other firefighters" he assures me I sigh "you know I'm not sleeping I wake up I can hear them and the glass" "hey I know I don't mind we can sit here all night and just talk if you want truth be told I would have loved that after I woke up in a cold sweat" "does it happen a lot" I ask worried "no normally just after a big case that brings up memories or helicopters...if I'm working a case I can push it down don't know how usually comes out after" "you could come hang out with me" he smiles "as fun as that might be I don't think so" he said I shrug "you wouldn't leave me alone before until I admitted it and I'm pretty good at distracting people. I could beat you at poker" he laughs "I heard all about how good of a player you are" "from who your boss" he looks at me confused "oh Hank use to come to grandpas sometimes for poker night he was there one of the nights I was when they were teaching me he made me laugh" I smile happily "that is hard to imagine" "you don't really know everything about people just a layer of them mum told me that. She said people are like onions they have layers and are so complicated some make your eyes water some make your face twitch some make you smile they are all different in colour and on the inside" I recite I would imagine her standing across the room smiling at me from across the room, radiating pride.

"Smart I'll have to remember that one" "my mum was a smart lady. Everyone loved her...I'm the perfect combination of her and dad" I said smiling "you know I wish I was a mummy's girl so much but I wasn't I was a grandpas girl or daddy's girl" I told him before he can say anything "I was my mothers son never really got on with my dad Will was always the golden child" he told me getting comfortable his feet in the coffee table as he now kinda laid down. "I was my mothers everything we did everything together when I wasn't in school" I told him smiling "I don't talk about her much it hurts dad a lot there isn't many people left that knew her well I don't want anyone to ask dad. And those who were around around i I don't know" I shrug "who would of thought I would be talking to you" he looks confused "sorry I didn't mean that to sound so mean I just I have so many people that I'm closer to I mean I met you this year. Your kinda the last person I would pick if I had know but that doesn't mean I'm not happy I am I promise I like talking to you maybe it's because you don't know every about me" I ramble getting cut off by him laughing "I'm honoured that you feel you can talk to me" "you should be" I joke him laughing

"so what does your normal day look like not including school" "ok uh I usually go to the fire station as you know. On the days I have training I usually just get a snack relax a bit before I go Cindy usually picks me up from the fire station as it's on the way or I just walk down it's not super far. On days I don't have training I hang out with everyone beat Cruz at poker eat lots when there on a call I sit in dads office doing school work which is where I was when" "you don't have to I know" he assures me "no uh I called Erin" "I know" "I was panicking I didn't know what to do. I blacked most of it out after my dad pulled me out I can remember the guy knocking the glass and shouting and the gun shots but that's it. It comes back in the dreams though but even than it's not like I connect like I know that happened but when I was wake I wouldn't recognise it" "I get that on my last tour the group I was in went over a landmine it" he takes a breath "you don't have to" "I know I remember it but anything immediately after it's like it was a different person until I got discharged" I nod smiling at him "thank you for telling me" "your telling me about your mum and the firehouse the least I can do is share" he told me "it was a car accident my mum I mean I was in the back seat they say she died on impact but that's not true she was talking to me telling me it was going to be ok that dad would be here soon" he nods "Boden let dad help get me out but that's it dad sat with me on the truck just talking to me after Shay and gabby checked me out. I had to go to the hospital but they waited for mum as she had more severe injuries. I vividly remember her telling say to look out for us but I don't know if it's true or not...she did move into the apartment not long after though" I told him thinking back.