Innocents 💠Slow Updates

I need her

I run into the fire station "Sylvie where's Sylvie" I ask looking around "out on a call" Mouch said "you alright" Matt asks concerned "yeah yep"
I said looking around "uh could you tell her I need her tell her it's life and death" I said running away. I stood in the bathroom with my hands on the counter by the sink as I stare in the mirror.

"You ok" Stella asks "yeah just waiting for Sylvie" "anything I can help with" I really didn't know how to answer that. I had a million female figures in my life first it was Shay she was the first I had let in after mum, than gabby, Erin and now Sylvie. I didn't know if Stella and my dad would last forever. I didn't know if they broke up would break up. "I'm here I'm here" Sylvie said loudly barging in at the right moment so I don't have to answer. "I need you" I said racing over grabbing her arm. She led me into the locker room "you can come if you want Stella" I shout before we move to far.

"What's wrong" "that womanly thing that Shay and gabby told me about well it happened and I'm freaking out" "ok ok deep breath" she said sitting beside me. She didn't have to explain it to me Gabby and Shay did along with teacher in sex Ed but being told and reading about it is very different from actually experiencing it. "Nothing to be scared or worried about" Stella said sitting beside me. Sylvie goes to speak but Otis walks in "everything ok" "no get out and tell everyone they aren't allowed in" Sylvie went off at him making him leave rather quickly. I quietly laugh "is it normal for it to hurt no one ever said it would hurt" "it does sometimes" Sylvie said "sometime it's hurts more than others" Stella adds "why didn't anyone say anything it's all about the chemical and scientific aspect...what about the" "you may get headaches may feel tied easier" "you could need more sugary or salty food it depends" Stella told me "I know about the chocolate" "not just chocolate that's just common" "yeah I usually crave salty food but want sweet" Stella adds making me nod "who knows you might want fruit you crave it right before you get sick" Sylvie said making me smile "hey that's my tell tale sign I'm getting sick so I eat all the fruit and drink all the juice I can in the hopes it will go away" "your the only person I know that's like that" Sylvie said "well now you are for me as well although my grandmother did always eat oranges it was like an orange party when someone was sick" Stella added "how many pads or tampons do you have" "just the ones that you practically forced me to bring in that case" she nods "I'll get you more" she said "scrap that I'll take you than we can go home" Stella said "are you ok with that" Sylvie asks "yeah it will save you a drive" I said smiling at her. "Anything you know you can ask me right" "yep" I hug Sylvie tightly I step back realising that I was so caught up in what was happening to me, freaking out about me as opposed to the place. "You alright" "yeah yeah oh uh I'm going to meet Jay and Adam" she nods "I can pick you up later" Stella said making me nod "uh if you get busy at shift than I'll have one of them drop me off" I said going over to my dad hugging her. I knew he needed to know it's just one of those things. It is right or is that just me thinking that. I didn't know how to tell him or if I should tell him. Does he have to know, if I don't won't he start thinking somethings wrong if I don't. How do I tell him. It's weird.

"I did it" I said immediately smiling "what" Adam asks confused "I was so focused on talking to Sylvie I did it" "good work" "how's yours going" I ask completely ignoring Adam "it's alright" "you wouldn't tell me would you...Jays been helping me deal with everything from the firehouse" I move my arms hoping he gets the message. "The hostage situation" Jay told him leaning on his truck watching people "is he ok like his ptsd" Adam looks at me "oh he tells me stories of the war and I tell him about my mum and time in the firehouse" "I don't know his been weird after one case so maybe" "I'm pushy" I shrug walking over to Jay "so it is bad" I muse leaning against the truck only I was watching Adam and not everyone else. "It's cool but maybe telling me about all the good times you had might help" I look at him to see him looking at me "you don't have to you just helped me a lot and I wanted to repay the favour and even if you did tell me it I don't think my mind would be able to fully comprehend a war zone like I know what it is and that it's happening but it doesn't effect me so I don't fully recognise it I think that's what I just assume anyway I'll follow your lead if you let me" I said smiling at him causing him to weakly smile at me "your a good kid" he hugs me holding me close resting his head on my head. "We can have a talking night dads working so he will probably feel better if I don't stay at the firehouse all night he doesn't like it cause Connie isn't there during the night so I'm all alone" he nods "if it's cool with your dad you can stay but we aren't talking...love how you just invited yourself over" "hey it was you or Erin but I don't really ask Erin I kinda just show up" he nods "I'll remember that" he nods thoughtfully.