AGAINST THE TIDE Book #2

Chapter Five: An Admission

Marcelle's POV
Vittoria...

She's a constant thought in my mind. She may think that she's not a priority to me but in my mind, she dominates everything. Almost every other day she's my first thought and my last thought. It's been a year. Are we growing stronger together? I believe so. Initially, I told her that I don't love her. Something has changed. I'm feeling differently. It's not a clear declaration of love but it's going to get there.

In the meantime, I remain insanely attracted to her. Yes! I'm so attracted to her that I am losing the control I have. One touch from her and I quiver like a leaf in the storm. I think she knows what I crave. I think she knows exactly what makes me weak. She has studied me and she knows what affects me. I'm the one at a disadvantage because I'm yet to know her the way she knows me.

I gave in too quickly last night.

I keep replaying that moment over and over again. The control she held when she had her hand around my throbbing member, leveraging me to do her bidding. She is capable of using sex to get her way. She is very capable and she knows just how needy her man is. She knows just how much to give and how much to withhold to get me in tune.

She is gaining power over me that I'm afraid to give.

I need to get a grip.

"No." He told me flatly.

"No? I haven't said anything yet." I chuckled.

He sipped his cup of tea. We are in Rome. I have stayed a third day for Vee. Maybe I'll add a fourth. This is the first house Reina and I lived in after we moved to Rome from Seville.

"I know what you will ask. The answer is no." I pulled out a chair for myself. I served a cup of tea. His brown eyes won't leave me. "Four minutes and thirteen seconds."

"What?"

"That is how long it took for you to submit to her wishes. Four minutes and thirteen seconds."

"You counted."

"Of course I did!" It is an all record high. It was brief. Is that how long your first time will last?" He teased me. "Only four minutes? No pressure but you have to perform!"

I haven't had sex since before I divorced Reina. I have been celibate and it's starting to eat at me. I am certain that my first time with Vee won't be everything I want it to be. I fear it will be brief because I won't be able to last through the tightness that is waiting for me.

"Stop it dude. It's not funny."

"How do you do it?" He leaned close in a whisper? Don't you feel like hitting something or someone because of all that pent up sexual frustration?"

"I stay sane. Somehow. Until she's ready there's nothing I can do."

"But she is ready. Stop being a gentleman." He looked at me knowingly. "My answer is no. I'm not doing Vee's bidding."

"I don't expect you to." He raised an eyebrow at me. "I won't reward her by letting her have her way."

"But you got a hand job. Wait, how does a giro raised by nuns even know how to give a hand job?"

"I taught her." Those private moments between us are teaching moments. I dint want her to be green when we do other things. We are not at a point where she lets me touch her. Last night was the first time she outrightly asked me to touch her and she wanted it to be at the very spot she forbids me from. If I wasn't a gentleman, I would have given her the pleasure of her life.

"You take good giros and you make them bad." He clapped. "So, backstabbing her then?"

"Not exactly. This is what I need you to do. I am not overruling your authority." I told him with a serious tone. "I'm finding an in between that still shows I respect you as my head of security, upholds my promise to Vee and helps the kid out."