AGAINST THE TIDE Book #2

Chapter Seven: Intention

Vittoria's POV
"I understand where you're coming from. I understand you very well. My father used to be a navy chaplain. He had standards about what is right and wrong much like you do. He raised us by those standards. He always told me that s x is for married people."

"Did you wait until Signor?"

"Well..." She smiled to herself. "I had a husband when I met Nick."

"Dio!"

"Scandalous, I know. But I lost my virtue on my wedding night... to the wrong man. My first husband was never right for me. I cheated on him with Nick and I don't regret it. No. Nick has turned out to be the biggest constant in my life. He wrecked my second marriage too."

"You have married twice?"

She laughed her heart out. She held up five fingers. "I have been married five times. First it was Jason. Nick got in the middle. I had an affair with him. We broke up. I married Sinclair. Have you ever met Sinclair?"

"No Signora."

"You should. I'm sure Marcelle will introduce you. Nick ruined my marriage again. He showed up and I cheated again. Then I married Nick. Then we got divorced and I married Mancini. He was the godfather before Nick. Then we got divorced and again I married Nick. Five marriages. Four men. Now... I know what you're thinking. How can this woman give me any advise?"

"I'm not thinking it Signora. I'm just shocked." I laughed.

"Nick was the only 'sin'. With Jason and Sinclair, sex came after marriage as it should be. With Mancini nothing ever happened between us. I do understand what you're feeling. So now that we have some groundwork, tell me something. Do you think it will feel right when he's your husband or will you carry these reservations into marriage?"

"I'm not sure Signora. What I know is that it feels very good when he's..." I blushed.

"Touching you. Let's just call it touching you." She smiled at me.

"Si. His touch feels very good. But after I feel dirty."

She nodded her head. "When you're with my son, how does he make you feel?"

"He makes me feel special. I feel good."

"Do you feel loved?"

Dio! I have never thought of that word as something he feels because he told me he loves Reina. He told me that the very first time we got together. Had it changed? Do I feel loved?

"Si Signora. But he has never said it."

"Does it feel like he wants you just for sex?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know. Maybe not?"

"What do you feel when he holds your hand?"

I can't help but smile. "I feel like I'm the only girl in the world. It feels rosy inside."

"That's a beautiful feeling. Enjoy it. What about when he kisses you? How does that feel?"

"Very nice."

"And wh n his hands get adventurous with your body? Under your clothes? How does that feel? I'm assuming he has done that already."

"Si he has. It feels... very good. But after he has finished... not so good."

"What do you feel exactly?"

"Guilt... Dirty when it is more... uh..."

"Don't worry sweetie, I'm not green at all. You dint have to explain. So if he holds your hand and kisses you just a little that is okay."