AGAINST THE TIDE Book #2

Chapter Twenty Eight: The Parents

Vittoria's POV
"We can't just ignore it. I have been without answers for 25 years! We can't just ignore it."

"I wish... There is no day that went by when I didn't want to find you and tell you. For 25 years, I fought the urge to come back for you. It's not because I didn't think about you or I didn't miss you. It's because I had too much to lose."

"And what else was more important than a child you abandoned?" I asked her with my eyes tearing up. "What else was more important Mrs Northcott?"

"You won't understand."

"Try me."

All my life, I have waited for a sensible explanation to help me understand why I was the child who never got a family. I have waited to understand why I have been alone for so long.

"My husband... Phillip, he was never around. He worked hard. I completely understood that part but I was lonely. I was stuck with three children who made the nannies quit and it drove me bonkers to have to pick up the slack. Then one day, I met your father." She smiled at me. It's a bright smile. "I'll tell you about him. He was great! He is such a good listener. The first time we had dinner together, I did all the talking. It felt so good to be listened to, like really listened to. Things got heated fast between us. It was hot and sweet. Then all of a sudden, he ended it. I was devastated. I told myself it's just an affair and I should move on. But then I found out I was pregnant... with you." She took my hand.

"Did you tell him? What did he say?"

"No. I couldn't tell him. I wanted to have you with my husband."

"I don't understand."

"I wanted to pin the pregnancy on Phillip but things didn't go according to plan. He eventually found out about the pregnancy. It came down to you or them. I had so much to lose. My other children, my husband, my very identity."

My eyes teared up. Marcelle warned me that this conversation won't be easy and I shouldn't expect anything rosy. Listening to her putting importance on everything but me hurts terribly. It's breaking my heart.

"And I was the one who was of least importance to you."

"Yes. At that moment, you were the disposable option."

I looked away promptly, breaking down into hot tears. She tried to touch me but I moved away. Why don't people want me? What is wrong with me? Every moment I haven't been good enough is coming back to me and it hurts like hell. Rejection hurts.

"Vittoria-"

"Don't touch me." I sobbed into my palms.

"I'm sorry. I told you that it is better to ignore this but you insisted and that is the truth. That is how I felt when I was giving you up but it's not how I felt after." She came around to hold my face. "It hurt like hell after. That is how I developed this addiction because I wanted to be numb. I knew you were out there alone at that orphanage and it haunted me."

"I'm sorry you had to drown your misery in expensive bottles of alcohol while I ate one meal a day and on bad days, I slept on an empty stomach. I got bullied by older kids. On one occasion I was I will ke up with patches of missing hair in my head and the sisters had to shave it all of! I slept on the floor because there weren't enough beds! I would give mine up for those who needed it more. I wore torn hand me down clothes because no one could afford to buy me new ones. I lost count of the number of holes I kept sewing to look decent! I watched others getting adopted. I wanted to be adopted but no one wanted me! You're not the only one who suffered!" Is screamed at her.

"Excuse me miss, please keep it down. You're disturbing the others-"

"Don't talk to me! Don't talk to me! This has nothing to do with you! I'm talking to her!" I screamed at the woman who is not pleased.