bodyguard °sunsun° [COMPLETE]

(23) CONTEMPLATING KILLING

A/N: For all the people who want to read stories about of their favorite ships without the romance... Enjoy The Bromance

S.U.N.O.O.

Finally, I see what my specialist meant by 'physical pain affected by one's psychological state'. I wish I never found out the truth. I was doing everything in my power to move on from them. My parents. 

On purpose, I never mentioned my mom or dad. For the sake of my sanity, I pretended to take my mom's heart into my body as a gift. Whenever I saw the fine line scar drawn down my chest in the mirror, I said it was a result of her protection... but I can't--.

I can't keep this up. Living a life, faking oblivion as if I don't care to know the reason for the empty hole embedded into the body that is mine. I can't give it back.  The heart.

I can't give it back to my mom. I can't save her. Ten years have gone by and I will still fail to give her justice because the people who killed her and forced us to stay silent are dead or are out of reach (out of the country). 

"I can't--," my breath hitches. My fist clenches inside of Heeseung palms. His hands are wrapped around mine; he refuses to let go.

As if I might simply fade away, if he just loosen his grip even the slightest matter.

"M-my heart. There's a stinging in my chest," I manage to get the words out, despite energy being extracted from my body through all this crying.

At those words, Heeseung glances out side, "It's not raining. You're in pain even though the sky is clear?"

Yes,  I'm in pain.  It's like thousands of shattered glass shards are pressing up against my rib cage.

"Do you want your medication? It will put you back to sleep," he suggests.

I shake my head. No.

"I don't want it," My hands snatch out the cup my older brother was forming around them. Rolling on to my side, I hug myself. Squeezing tighter as the pain intensifies.