Nick's OCD

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PonkieMySpirit - I hope you like it :)) I wrote this listening to 'Why Am I Like This?' From the show so listen to that while you read if you'd like to get in the headspace even more haha x

Tw: OCD/ panic

"Are you okay?" Charlie shot a concerned look at Nick as they were lying on Charlie's bedroom floor doing their homework.

Their little study sessions had become a common occurrence since Nick had exams coming up and Charlie always had homework he should be doing.

Usually, Nick was pretty focused when he was working, but this time Charlie had noticed that he was a little bit distant. As if he wasn't actually focusing on his work. There was something on his mind and he wanted to make sure he was okay.

"Yeah, why?" Nick scoffed slightly, as if it was stupid for Charlie to even ask
"I dunno, you seem... distant"
"Distant?" Nick actually laughed this time; although deep down he knew exactly what Charlie was getting at.

He was being distant because his mind was being too loud and he was fighting to keep his focus. It wasn't usually like this, he usually managed to tell it to shut up.

He continued to chew his pen and stare down at his Maths book, really trying to give the boring equations his undivided attention. Which was really hard to do when his brain kept telling him that his books that he'd piled up next to him were in the wrong order and that if he didn't reorder them, something bad would happen to Charlie.

"They're fine" He muttered under his breath, trying to shut the thoughts out.

"Nick" Charlie put his hand on Nick's to stop him from hitting his pen on the page of his book, "Let's take a break" He announced, getting up and stretching, "English is boring anyway"

Charlie knew Nick didn't want to tell him what was wrong, but he knew something was up.

But it was almost like Nick hadn't heard Charlie at all. He stayed as he was, staring at his open page.

"Nick!" Charlie laughed nervously, "Earth to Nick"
"I need to sort these out!" Nick blurted out, sitting up and grabbing all the books. Making them spill over the floor which only made Nick more frustrated.

Charlie watched as Nick picked them all up and started to organise them.

"Red, purple, blue, green" Nick muttered, putting them all in that order, "Red, purple, blue, green"

Nick was scaring Charlie. He'd never seen him act like this before, never seen this side to him. As much as Charlie wanted to say something he knew Nick wouldn't hear him. He was in his own world.

Charlie stayed quiet until he saw Nick get up and start pacing around.

"Everything's off" He kept saying, "Everything's in the wrong place"
"Nick!" Charlie stepped in front of Nick to stop him pacing, "It's okay, you're okay"
"No!" Nick pushed Charlie away and Charlie immediately felt tears fill his eyes. This was so unlike Nick and Charlie didn't know what to do. Should he call his mum?

Nick continued to pace, and ring his fingers like they were a wet towel he was trying to dry.

"I'm sorry" Nick said and he stopped pacing, "My brain i-it's so loud" He put his hands up to his face and pressed them into his eyes, "It doesn't stop" His voice cracked and Charlie's heart sank.

"It's never normally this bad" Nick continued, still holding his hands up to cover his face, "I can normally shut it out"
"Shut what out?' Charlie slowly got closer
Nick sighed in frustration, "My OCD, I can normally shut it out, but-"
"Hey" Charlie pulled Nick's hands away from his face, "It's okay, look at me"
Nick did as he was told.
"You're okay, you're safe" Charlie's voice was soft and caring. He kept hold of Nick's hands by his side and they looked into each other's eyes.

"Let's get out of here" Charlie stated, dropping Nick's right hand and pulling his left with him as he walked out of his room.

They left Charlie's room and went out to his garden.

"These are pretty" Nick commented, brushing his free hand on the flowers Charlie's mum had planted in the raised flower bed.
"Yeah" Charlie smiled, still guiding Nick to the end of the garden.

They sat at the bench that was slightly covered by the big tree in the neighboring garden. Its branch reached fairly low, obstructing the view of the bench from the house.

"You're different" Nick said, staring in front of him, deep in thought
"What do you mean" Charlie laughed nervously
"You really care don't you?" Nick turned to look at Charlie, his eyes full of curiousity and care
Charlie didn't say anything so Nick added, "Thank you"
Charlie still couldn't think of anything to say so he leant into the arm of the hand he was still holding. Gazing up at the tree that was swaying slightly in the Summer breeze.

Nick reached his free hand over to caress Charlie's cheek, making Charlie realise he hadn't noticed the gravity of the situation. He looked at Nick again.

"I really like you, Charlie Spring" Nick smirked and then leant in to meet Charlie's lips.

Nick's heart felt so full. He was used to hiding his OCD; mostly to his own expense, but letting it show in front of Charlie wasn't a bad thing. He still wanted to kiss him.

A/N: I am gonna do everyone's requests, I promise - They're all too good not to write!! If you've got requests, please leave them in the comments here, on the requests chapter or message me!! I can do anonymous requests :) Thanks again for all the love <3

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