Baby Barton

Chapter 89 Chloe Barton

~~~~~~ A/N: drop a wee vote and a comment ✌️ this was such a lovely chapter to write. ~~~~~~~~

You step off the Quinjet turning to look for Bucky who is is dragged away inside of some sort of cube, chained up like a rabid animal.
"Is this really necessary!?" You yell out across the landing pad, Rhodey throws his hands out.
Clint runs across the asphalt, "Chloe!"
A sickly feeling washes over you, remembering Steves words, "Clint identified a body." You barely gave a thought to what you put your brother through.
Now you feel suffocated under that blanket of guilt.
But the feeling melts away when he wraps his arms around you pulling your body into his. Clint's soft sobs synchronised with your own.

You sit on the wall of the helipad with your legs swung over the edge looking down at New York City trying to get used to the noise, and the smell.
Clint sits next to you, one leg dangling over the edge and the other resting firmly on the ground.
"You could have told me where you were," his clears his throat softly, you tilt your head guiltily avoiding eye contact with him, "I would have kept your secret."
But you didn't want him to have to keep secrets from his wife or friends, but you also didn't want to put him through the pain that you did.
Trying to make sense of your actions you turn your body to face him, "I didn't want to burden you with it." His life is hard enough right now, and its because of you.
"I-I-I thought you were dead." His voice cracks and he inhales sharply, "just for a minute...I really thought you were gone." He reaches out grabbing your hand, squeezing it tight.  You squeeze his in return.
You really fucked up. In hindsight you should have let him know where you were.
You could have trusted him.
But then...he would have been betraying his friends and you couldn't have done that to him. Have him lie to Natasha like that.
"I was so selfish," you sob out, "I wasn't in a good place." You flashback to the side of the river, half drowned high as a kite begging Bucky to take you with him.
Leaving Steve injured on the shore.
The cold brush of your lips on his.
Your eyes brim with tears one blink away from cascading down your face.
"Doing whats right for you doesn't make it selfish, it makes is necessary." He uses his sleeve to wipe away your watery eyes.
If only Steve would see it like that.
"I hurt him." You throw your head into your hands, failing to contain your heartbreak.
Clint scoffs, "who Cap? He'll get over it." He nudges you gently.
"What about the new guy?" He looks back to the quinjet.
Following his gaze, "Bucky? Thats nothing. I don't have the strength to let anyone else in." You struggle to control your breathing through the emotion, slumping over you cover your face again.
Clint pulls your hands down, "Chloe, sometimes I think that you think that you are worthless." He dips his head to lock his eyes with yours.
You sniffle, the constant run of tears starting to make you feel like you are going to dehydrate.
Of course you think you are worthless.
You are a junkie...ex junkie.
You have more flaws than strengths these days, destroying everything and every one in your wake.
How can you think that you are anything more than worthless.
You are rotten.
You pull your eyes from his but he grabs your face forcing you to look at him, "Chloe you are worth more than your weight in gold."
He wraps his arm tightly around you, pulling you closer to him not caring that the rough edge of the building scrapes the fabric of both of your jeans, "its about time you started believing it." Lying your head on his shoulder you sob loudly letting it all out.