Baby Barton

Chapter 98 Chloe Barton and the party part 4

A/n: Hey! Drop a wee vote if you can, and as always thank you so much for reading. This story is everything to me.

Bucky watches your face collapse as Steve walks away leaving you at the bar.
You catch him looking at you from across the room, smiling sadly trying to stem the brewing tears in your eyes.
"Are you okay?" He mouths to you.
He's always so concerned with you, what about his best friend? The one you both hurt so badly.
He should be chasing after him.
You look down at your feet numbly, "no." You mouth back no longer able to hold the tears back as they tumble down your face.

Why did you have to be so stubborn?
You could have said yes to being friends with Steve, surely having him in your life as a friend was better than not having him at all?
Except, it wasn't it was harder.
It was all or nothing.
And you opted for the latter.

Bucky raises his hand, "drink?"
It was probably the last thing you needed, but fuck you wanted one. He tilts his head towards the bar.
You nod, "make it two." You mouth back.

You really just wanted to go back to your room and take this stupid fucking dress off, you wanted to scream into your pillow for hurting the one decent guy that ever showed you interest.
The first guy you loved.
How could you have been so selfish.
Bucky pulls you in to a tight embrace, "how'd that go?"
"Could've been worse." You grumble a reply shooting two bourbons.
"Really?"
"It was horrible. I'm an asshole." You bang the side of your head aggressively, Bucky's mechanic arm grabs your wrist halting the motion.
"Stop." He pulls your arm down pressing it by your side.
He sighs heavily at the sadness in your eyes, "want another?" He grabs the bottle filling out your glasses.
"I need something stronger." Throwing your head into your hands you begin to sob lightly. Making every effort to control them.
The last thing you want to do is make a scene.
Especially here, now.
Bucky nods, "Thor gave me some strong stuff. Even gets me buzzed." You slide your hand into his desperately seeking the comfort from his touch.
Probably not your best move considering your talk in Bucharest.
But there was something about him tonight.
Self destructive and self sabotaging. Thats all you are right?
Bucky leads you to his room at the end of the living quarters at the compound.
The sound of the music and chatter dying out, allowing you to collect your thoughts a little.
The alcohol was doing its job of scrambling them.

Bucky fills out two glasses of potent green liquor, it reminded you of absinthe.
He hands a glass to you, "just a sip, its pretty strong." Suddenly you felt completely sobered with fear, which was the last thing you wanted to be so you take a small sip to start and then another and another.
You feel the effects instantly and push the glass away from you.
You can't have this, it would be easy to get addicted to the instantaneous euphoric feeling.
This is not the drink for you.
You sit up on the table swinging your legs off the edge, feeling a little giddy as the false happiness soars through you.
A sweet smile hints in the corners of Bucky's mouth as he stands staring at you.
You reach your hand out for his and he gives it to you, pressing it against your chest allowing his heightened senses to feel your heart thudding in your chest.
He steps closer, allowing your legs to fall open encouraging him to press against you.
He runs his human hand up your cheek lacing his fingers in your hair, unwittingly parting your lips inviting his.
Bucky slowly moves in edging his mouth to yours, he hangs hesitantly millimetres away from you, twitching your lips into a pout to brush against his he leans forward pulling you into him deeply.
Your tongues massaging each other passionately.

But your shoulders heave forward, fear grabs hold of your feet slowly moving up your body threatening to suffocate you.
Images of The Winter Soldier flash through your mind, injecting you with your poisonous demise while you lie cold and bruised on the floor.
You try to keep going, because you wanted this kiss with him but you are transported back lying on top of Steves battered body while The Winter Soldiers fist pummels into him, the sound of Steves bones cracking underneath as you cling to him.
Pleading for him to stop, to spare the man you loved.
And then you are under water, drowning.
Only this time you aren't ready to let go, this time you fight, gasping for air.

Snapping back to the moment you pull away from Bucky, your entire body trembling with fear.
He senses your fear pulling you against his chest, "are you okay?" He hushes.
Tears begin to cascade down your face, "no...I'm not okay." You draw your knees up to your chest, looking  guiltily at Bucky.
"Its okay Chloe. I'm not going to hurt you." He brushes his lips against your forehead.
You don't want him to feel any worse than he already does, call it PTSD or whatever you want.
But no matter what Bucky means to you, what The Winter Soldier done will always dominate your mind.
It doesn't mean you love Bucky any less, it just means you can love him more.
"Its not me." He smooths hair away from your face that stuck there in your cold sweat.
"I'm sorry Bucky, I'm so sorry." Laboured sobs permeates through your chest, Bucky lifts you on to his knee cradling your trembling body.