Baby Barton

Chapter 99 Chloe Barton

"I just went for a wander to visit my old cell, reminiscing about old times but imagine my surprise when I see you coming out of the Terminators room." Loki hovers by the table you are slumped in, a smug smile plastered across his cheeks.

If he saw you then christ knows who else did too.
Your head heavy on your shoulders you rest it in your hands, brushing your hair back not caring what state you'll leave yourself in. You've had enough now.
You want to go back to when things were simpler.
Were they ever simple though?
"Not in the mood Loki," the tears perpetually falling down your face.
His head tilts a little, "did something happen?" A hint of concern in his voice.
If only he knew.
You rushed out of Bucky's room not looking back to see if he followed you, or if he was alright.
It pains you to say this because you both have a special bond, but in that moment you couldn't be around him.
Loki hovers around the table suspiciously, you look up at his dark waved hair his mischievous eyes glinting in the party light.
"Just...sit down." You snap, hissing irritably.
In one quick movement he sits across from you, "Okay feisty, why the long face?  Super soldier break your heart did he?" He quizzes softly, you know he is only trying to make you laugh but even Loki can't pull you out of this pit.
He straightens himself out tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, "question is, which soldier are we talking about?" He jests smirking as usual.
Your brows furrow in his direction, "don't look at me like that missy, I hear things you know. I hear a lot of things." His eyebrows wiggling playfully.

If he's heard things then so has everyone else.
Oh god.
Steve.
Sneering in his direction you lean in, "I think I was the one who done the hurting." Your head falls back into your hands.
Unable to bear the burden any longer.
"Which one?" Loki shakes his head sarcastically, looking around the room, "there are plenty men or women that would love to have you on their arm."
But you only want one.
"I've hurt both of them though," you bob your head trying to stem the tears, "Bucky and St-Steve, I really fucked up.  I didn't mean to." Hearing the pain in your voice as you stumbled over Steves name caused Loki to grab your hand in an attempt to console you.
You continue to sob weakly, guiltily.
He clasps another hand around yours applying a little pressure, "I doubt you did it on purpose." He soothes you.
That was the problem, you always managed to hurt someone wether it was on purpose or not. You ruined everything you touched.
"Why am I like this? Such a mess, always the fuck up. If I could just...maybe if I just..."
"Get away?" Loki cuts you off, "come with me to Asgard Chloe, I'll love you for an eternity."
But thats your cycle isn't it. Fuck up, leave, come home...repeat.
At some point you have to grow up and accept the consequences of your actions, doesn't mean you will like it, and its okay to cry about it.
But you have to stick around.
Even when there isn't the slightest chance than you'll love someone again, or that someone will love you.
"Piss off Loki." You laugh between sobs, "you'd kill me before the weeks out."
You break his touch and lean back into the chair, "you're right Chloe, you were always right." You nod in agreement.
Disappearing with Loki would be the easy way out, you applaud yourself for the strength to say no.
His sheepish smile and soft eyes take you back to the emotions you felt with him, the air of mystery that first intrigued you, the way he was so gentle with you his attentive hands.
It amazed you how someone so precious could be so vicious.
You absentmindedly press your fingers against the scar on your hip where he stabbed you, the constant reminder of why you would never have worked.  The sharp realisation that you never loved him, he was just a body to fill the empty space inside you.

"What will  you do now?" His eyes fill with sadness, almost as though he could read my mind.
I shrug, "throw myself back into the good work of the Avengers I suppose, if they'll have me."
I look out across the party trying to locate my five team members thinking over how I hurt them individually.
"You?" I sniffle back tears.
He lets out a long exhale, "I'll go back to my life on Asgard.  I wont darken your door again Chloe Barton." A tear sits in the corner of his eye one blink away from falling down his pale cheek.
He gets up from his chair, walking around the table to my side he leans down brushing his lips against my forehead, "be happy, you are worth more than the sun, moon and stars."

As his lips leave my head he disappears into the crowd, a sad burst of sobs falters from deep within my chest.