𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀

XLII. Nothing Else Matters

    Chapter 42, Nothing Else Matters
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  Huge Disclaimer ~
    
      This chapter contains emotional moments, Scarlett remembering her and Jadens break up from last book, Depressed Scarlett and Spencer being the best dad you never had.

   Viewer's discretion is advised, you have been warned.

   " Dad, the little things matter! They matter! "

  ~ Scarlett's POV ~

        The day after prom, I was laying in my bed with the air conditioner blasting which filled my room with a cold breeze just how I liked it.
  Although I hated being cold, it didn't mean that I didn't like wrapping myself with my weighted blanket because I feel immediate warmth.

     But that's not what I'm doing right now, instead I was laying in my bed and scrolling through my camera roll.
  I scrolled through different screenshots, photos, videos and gifs that I had saved for occasions or i had from different things.

    Eventually I scrolled too far back and found videos and photos of me alone or crying, i know it's not very good to record yourself crying or taking photos of you but this was last year.
   I sat up quickly and played a video, like I said I don't condone this but this is what I did when I was sad, immediately I regretted my decision.

  "Don't get attach bro, this for real hurts man."

  My voice cracked mid sentence in the video as I wiped the old tears from my face, my eyes were red and puffy along with my nose which was clogged.
  I stared at the video of myself sitting on the ground, there was background music playing and I had what I think was an apple juice.

    "Relationships don't last man, they don't, last!"

    The video finished, I went through my videos of myself crying or pictures of me and I felt myself begin to cry.
  I hated the position I was in at the moment, I felt so alone and vulnerable.

   Although I was never alone, I had my parents and my best friends but they never went through I went through at this moment.
   Sometimes you know you're not alone but it's just that little feeling inside of you that continues to press the lonely button and if not, then you're hearing a small voice that tells you nobody cares.

    I learned that it didn't matter, it'll only kill you if you let it and at the time, I allowed it to kill me.
   When I wiped away my tears, I heard a knock at the door to which I said come in.

    My dad walked in with a smile which faded as he saw his sad daughter begin to curl up into a ball and practically die right in front of his eyes, he walked over to me and sat on my bed, pulling me closer to him.
   I turned around and hugged him tightly, he rubbed my back but didn't say anything yet.

    After a moment of silence and comforting me, he pulled away from the hug and looked me in the eyes which made me a little uncomfortable.
   My dad is not really serious, but when he is, i know I could count on him for any advice help that I desperately seek.

    "Scar, it's okay. What happened, why are you crying?"

   My dad asked curiously, I wiped away my new tears and took a shaky breath.
  How do I answer this without sounding ridiculous, I didn't know how to.

    "I was looking through my camera roll and scrolled to the far deep side and ended up on the side where Jaden and I broke up."

      I explained as I pulled my phone out and showed my dad the photos but not the videos, it was embarrassing for me but I know my dad would never make fun of me.
   He looked at the photos and then turned my phone off before pulling me into a hug, he was always the type of person to show affection and comfort by physical touch.

    "You know how much I missed him? We would always have our little things to do, such as calling one another late at night when we couldn't sleep."

   There were more things that Jaden and I had done that became only our things, I loved those thing as well since they were the only thing that kept me happy during whatever the hell I was going through.
   I've been such an emotional wreck for the past three years that I feel like now it's a crime to cry out anything, but that's how I was made.

  My heart was never meant to shut people out and keep the people I love feeling as if I didn't want them around, my heart was made to spread love and affection even to those who never deserved it.
   It's not a bad thing either, people aren't born to be evil or be mean, it's something they're taught.

   Whether it's taught by their family members, strangers or friends, they just pick up on it as if it's normal behavior and let it become their mindset.
   I don't blame the people who have hurt me in the past anymore, i don't have hatred towards anyone, although I could forgive them for the things they've done to me, i wood never forget how they made me feel in the situation.

    "Dad, the way he would always come over no matter what to help me when I was sick or exhausted or just drained, or how we could sit and talk for hours about nothing."

    I spilled, it was like my mouth was a sink and my words were the water but my feelings were too much that it overflowed, my dad nodded his head before rubbing my back and humming in response.
   If my kid were to be spilling their guts faster than Eleven could have a nose bleed, I would be silent as well.

  " Dad, the little things matter! They matter! "

   I blubbered like a baby at this point but he didn't mind, that was the best part of my dad.
No matter how weird or how depressing things get, he is never one to judge.

   As my dad laid down and pulled me closer to him, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the good things that happened in Jaden and I's relationship, the proposal, the baseball games and the babysitting Atlas with me.
  I had to leave the past alone or I'll never get to the future.

Not like I was going to get to the future anyways..