Evolution

Cinder - Chapter 73

I DO NOT own Pokemon.

Apologies in advance for any grammar or spelling errors.

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I sat in silence, eyes closed, feeling the urge to destroy my very world well deep inside of me. The anger seemed uncontrollable, the hatred unfathomable, yet I felt both to levels I knew there were no true words to describe. It made me want to hurt someone, to cause some kind of destruction, to do something, anything, harmful. And the worst part was just how tempting it felt.

Now and again, I'd feel myself begin to slip into the madness. To feel my body and mind give into the horrors that urged me to crawl into the dark. Before I could fall too far, though, I'd always feel a caring paw touch my own that could pull me out of the dark. I was struggling, but I wasn't alone. They were my friends. They were my family. No matter what I was made to feel, my truths wouldn't change.

I slowly opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the low light levels to be able to see. I looked at my mane, seeing my bright yellow mixed with a faded gray. I was one with my own destruction. Ribbon took her paw off of me, seeing if I would be able to control it alone. I took a deep breath, calming my terrified nerves as my paws quaked and my mind stepped into the unknown. My mind was clear, finally able to focus on nothing but the feelings that tempted me. Every small sound alerted me, from a quiet footstep to a creak from the structure, like a tiny pebble creating ripples in a still pond, however, none distracted me. I knew what I had to do, and who I had to do it for, and I couldn't lose sight of that.

The longer I attempted to resist, I knew I was only growing weaker. It felt as though my body moved against me, shaking and quivering as time went on. I wasn't meant for this, nor was anyone else, but there was no escape now. Every time my paw would start to move, she would quickly press it down and then pull away to leave me be again. She did just enough to let me know she was there, but not too much to make me feel as if I was only doing it with her help. She didn't particularly know what to do, but she was doing perfectly.

Time ticked on. The seconds alone felt like hours, even though I knew they were far from that. What had in reality likely only been a few minutes felt like days on end. I felt that after a while, I was becoming calmer and more collected. My anger had far from faded, but I felt as though I had some kind of grip on myself. I took another deep breath and opened my eyes, once again looking down at my fur. It was even grayer than before, though I was less angry than I had ever been doing this. I could barely see Ribbon in front of me, but it was just enough.

"I think it's working," I whispered, slightly grinning. She didn't respond, but I could feel her relief. I wasn't quite sure how long it had been, but I knew I needed to take a break. It was far from easy to hold for very long, but I was confident that I was making progress. I shut my eyes tighter than I had before, holding my breath and focusing only on returning to normal. As if by magic, the anger left me almost immediately, as did the discoloration of my fur. Ribbon seemed to realize this and turned the lights on in her room again, making both of us shield our eyes. "Ow..."

She giggled. "Oops, sorry! I forgot to warn you. Anyways, ya think that went alright? I mean, you didn't try to do anything, so I at least think it did." She walked back over to me and nuzzled her head into my fur. I knew it wasn't what she had been meaning to do, but it definitely helped calm my nerves some. "Y'know, I'm real proud of you for this."

I stroked her back with my paw, "Thanks, I think it did. Thank you for pushing me to try." She smiled, only snuggling more into my fur. I felt her take a deep breath to calm herself, and I did the same. It was hard to imagine I could feel so at peace right after such a storm of emotions.