Make it Right

P R O L O G U E

It was a rainy afternoon, books scattered, curtains closed, a warm cup of coffee at the top of the table, and a girl looking at the rain drops that are racing down the window. To say that it's satisfying is an understatement. Risa would trade anything in this world just to stop time and let this moment be her forever. 

It was a rainy afternoon with a comforting silence, she was happy, very happy. Not until reality hit her and shove her to face the unexpected. 

"Do you have any secrets?" 

Does she have any secrets? she don't know. Well, sure she does. Aren't all people have secrets? She could say yes, but the thing is if her answer would have a follow up question, is she ready to say it? To reveal and let it out on the closet? She could say no. Isn't it called secret so that nobody will ever have to hear it? She was confused and scared. It was a simple question. A question that is answerable by yes or no. But why does it feel like it was the hardest question she ever got in her life. 

"Yes"

She could have lie, but she decided to go with the truth. Because after all, no secrets remain to be secrets. The truth always prevail and she knows in herself that sooner or later, her secret would be out and will speak her truth. 

"What is it?" 

Risa's heart made a thump that was so loud, she's afraid it might burst out. She was not scared to speak her truth, but the possibilities of change between them. She could say a lie, it's always better to tell a lie because then, nothing will change and everything would be fine. But she chose to go with the truth. Again. 

"I love you" 

The girl in front of her, Maeve was confused by her answer but give Risa a warm smile nonetheless.

"I love you too"

"No" 

Risa could see the confuse look on her bestfriend when she said that word. She could have just go with the flow and give the latter a smile then let the talk be over, but she's tired. She's tired of hiding and pretending so she deals with the truth. 

"I love you, more than a friend"

"Bestfriends then?"

Risa thought her friend is mocking her, but the confuse look that is still plastered on the beauty made her realized how the latter has no idea at all. 

"I love you, romantically. Maeve, I'm in love with you"

There, she said it! Her truth. Risa was happy that she's able to say it. But the look Maeve has on that day will never be erased on her memory. The look of confuse, bothered, overwhelmed in one pair of blue eyes made her think if she did the right thing. 

"I'm.. I'm not. I'm not gay"

"I know" 

Risa could not help it, but look at the scattered books they tried to read before the confession. Yes, she knew very well how straight her bestfriend is, but she just want to say it. To let her feelings be out in the open. 

"And I have a boyfriend, for 3 months now" 

That, she doesn't know. She was betrayed, not because Maeve couldn't love her back, but because of the promise they had. The promise of telling whether they will be in a relationship. Well, Maeve did tell, but Risa couldn't get the fact that her bestfriend wouldn't even tell it to her if it wasn't because of the confession she made. But Risa is a person who doesn't conclude otherwise stated, so she asked

"Did you even have a plan on telling me?"

"What?" 

It's almost like a whisper. Maeve couldn't even say it out loud, afraid of what will happen that she keep her relationship a secret to her own bestfriend. She did remember the pact, it's just that she doesn't really know if she want to share it or not, but deep down she knew the answer

"Your relationship. You said you've been together for 3 months now. Did you ever had a plan on telling me? I mean we did a pact, remember?"

"I'm sorry" 

"Why are you sorry?"

Maeve couldn't even look at her bestfriend. She doesn't know why and what she's scared of, but she is. She is scared. And Risa knew that look very well as long as the answer to her question. 

"That's fine. You don't really have to tell me. I mean promises are meant to be broken somehow and you're not really obligated to tell me about your relationship."

Risa said it with a genuine smile. She was hurt, yes. But the sight of the girl in front of her who is curled up and could not even look at her just because of a question hurts  her more. The least thing she wants is to make the woman she loves felt so small and scared. 

"Nothing will change between us, right?"

Maeve said more clearly this time, but still with a hint of fear in her voice. She's afraid to hear the answer, no, she's afraid to hear what she doesn't want to hear. 

"We're still bestfriends, right?"

Maeve said, finally looking at her best friend's eyes. Waiting and anticipating. 

"Answer me, please" 

"Well, if you're still comfortable of being with me even after the confession that I made then, yes. Nothing will change. We're still best friends, Maeve" 

Maeve didn't even realize that she was holding her breath for too long. Finally she was able to let it out when she sees the genuine smile that were plastered on Risa's face. Unconsciously, that made her smile too. She decided to sit beside Risa and laid her head on the crook of her best friend's neck, smelling her scent and letting herself get comfortable on Risa's arm

"You know very well that what you're doing is killing me, right?"

"I'm sorry, but you have to deal with it since in your arms is where I feel comfortable"

Risa could only let out a chuckle. She wants to push the latter, but for some reason, it always made her smile when Maeve relaxes in her warmth

"What you reading?"

"It's called, Loving strangers"

"Read it out loud for me then"

"As you wish, my princess"