Lucas

E l e v e n ~ mother's day

I sat hugging my knees to my chest, staring at the Empty playground infornt of me numbly.

Today was one of the worst days I wished I I'd never come to school.

Mother's Day celebration show.

Where everyone brags about their parents and how they love them and discuss nice memories of them together which make flashbacks snap in my mind and my eyes start to spill the tears out. And I can't control it, which makes me look so stupid everytime and ending by me running to the bathrooms and crying silently on the bathroom's floor.

Although Adora & Alex used to come at the first years, but now they couldn't. Especially that they had grown up and coming to my school which is far for them, makes it hard for them. And I get it.

They made a lot of effort to raise me & Keith after all that happen. And I couldn't ask them for more knowing how much hectic their lives are. Yet it hurt me everytime. And it makes me remember The same damn accident. And at the end of the day right in the middle of the night, either I get sick and throw up or have hyperventilations several times.

It never stop hurting so much, neither the pain lessens than the last time....

I walked into the school as I was heading to to the theatre for mother's day project . Not that my parents could Miraculously come . I heard a familiar voice, It was Penny. I followed the sound and sat next to her, Already feeling her shoulder brushing against mine and smelling the special scent she had.

"Who were you talking to?" I asked softly.
"No one, I was talking to my self." She sniffed, her voice was breaking and shaking, She was crying. And I knew why;
It's the mother's Day. Alex asked me to take care of her today's morning. I'd do it and stick to her the whole day if I have to.

"you're sad because of the mother's Day show?" I asked gently; not meaning to hurt her but I couldn't ask it in any other way that could lessen it. "I'm used to that, I've been doing it for seven years now." she replied coldly, her voice hoarse. "well, my parents didn't come either; they said they had work abroad. And I didn't prepare anything for the project. not that I care." I replied carelessly, trying to ease it up on her but I think it was no use. I kept silent, knowing at some point Penny spells it out, like she always does with me. And she did.

"It just hurts to see other Students so proud of their parents and their memories and I just sit betweens my classmates like a stupid person and they all treat me kindly on this specific day out of Pity. Some of them even bully me about it." She croaked. "It just hurts to feel so, Lonely and different. Not in a good way rather a miserable way. I just don't wanna end breaking down or hyperventilating like everytime." she croaked again, and I felt my heart shatter to thousand pieces hearing her voice in such a broken tone.

"Come here," I opened my arms for her as she rested her head against my chest and I enveloped her tiny body in my arms. she sobbed into my chest and gosh it hurts to feel how she is feeling. Penny never deserved such a life. She deserves much more better one than this. I just wish I could take all her pain away and make her the happiest person ever .

"You don't wanna attend it right?" I asked softly, she nodded into my arms. "what about if we go anywhere else?" I asked again, my hand rubbing her arm. "Yeah," she agreed with a sniff. "we can go to my house?" she asked softly, her voice wavering. "Okay," I murmured kissing her hair.

"Probably we're not so close but I want you to know something. I'm going to be here whenever you need me, I will listen to you and hug you. and help you solve your problems like you always do with me.
Don't you ever forget that." I kissed her temple.

"Lucas, you're so beautiful, I never someone like you before. I love you so much." She murmured tugging at me.
"I love you more." I smiled softly kissing her forehead.

____🥀____

"Ever since then, I felt so lonely. But Keith, Adore & Alex helped me. It got harder when Keith left for university. I knew he would stay for years untill he graduates and maybe decides to settle there after that. Which scared me even more. And it happened, during a call he told me he's planning for it after he graduates and work there. I faced so many issues after that. student and teachers treating me with such pity. And some of them bullied me about it everyday.

Adora & Alex started to get old and I had to help them in a lot of things , I had to take care if their health and medications so they won't forget it. I started getting the grocery by myself . But gosh it hurts me everytime wherever I go when I see children playing with their parents and having the best moments that'll be a memory in their future when they grow up.

At mother's Day, how students talked about and planned for Their mother's gifts and preparing for the project in teams. And I just sit there in the corner and close my eyes painfully. Kevin was still In Canada back then with his parents so I was all alone. It was painful to see them happy when I was suffering alone.

I didn't have enough time with them. And gosh it hurts so much." She blurbered out in the dim silence, her voice shaking and sniffing between each three words at least. I just sat and listened to her. I wanted her to get out all that she wants. I leant forward, hugging her close to me as she sobbed painfully. I hugged her close to my chest, untill she fell asleep in my arms.

I sat with Penny in my arms, she cried to sleep and honestly. It shattered my heart to see her in such a miserable condition. Alex already called me and told me they wouldn't be here and asked me to take care of her. I decided to sleepover since Adora also told me about her panic attacks, nightmares and illness at some point.

I felt her fidget in my arms as she got up with yawn. "Lucas ?" She asked sleepily. "You're still here ?" she asked surprisingly. "I couldn't leave you like that." I replied softly. "Thanks." She spoke softly, I rubbed her shoulder in response.

"I'll go make us something to eat." She spoke getting up and I mumbled a small okay. I wanted her to get distracted for a bit. And not overthink it.

we sat and ate some spaghetti as we chatted every now and then. Then I helped her go to bed untill she fell asleep and I slept on the couch.