Kingdom [Namjin]

29

The next day when Seokjin woke up, his throat was sore. The reason? He was looking at the rain the entire night. Probably because of that. He slowly touched his cheek as he stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. His fingers slid to his lips. He could still feel Namjoon's every touch if he closed his eyes. A tear fell on his cheek without him knowing. It happened last night too. When he saw Namjoon go out of his house, he knew that whatever they were doing, had to end. And it probably did as soon as Namjoon started walking towards the car. When he saw Namjoon's car being driven away from his house, he felt empty. Tears started to stream down his cheek. He couldn't understand the reason. He couldn't understand why he was longing for the prince. He knew there can never be anything serious between them. Namjoon was a crowned prince. And Seokjin? He was just a commoner. Climbed his way up to his position because he was smart. His background was almost unknown. Undocumented parents, lost childhood and little to no hierarchy. He wasn't at Namjoon's level. Hell, he wasn't even remotely related to a noble family. He knew he couldn't have Namjoon to himself. He couldn't possibly compete with the suitors that would flood in for Namjoon after they announce his sexual orientation.

Seokjin looked at himself in the mirror again. He slowly touched the marks left by Namjoon when they were being intimate the day before. They ranged from a bright blue on his collarbone to light pink, barely-there on his shoulder. The entire body had them. It was just like the other times, but something was different. Namjoon was way too gentle with him. He could feel it in Namjoon's every move. He felt the difference, the gentleness, the warmth. It made Seokjin go crazy that he already missed the warmth. I hope these marks remain forever. His eyes went wide. What? No. he can't- He clicked his tongue and went into the shower. After about thirty minutes, he was ready. He was wearing his official uniform. He paused as he was styling his hair.

Wait.

He was on a week-long holiday. He took a deep breath and groaned. He had gotten ready to go to work absentmindedly. In other words, while thinking about Namjoon and the time they were together. He was already dressed, wasn't he? He sighed and completed styling his hair. Shortly, he was completely ready. He went to the kitchen to prepare himself some simple breakfast.

In about another hour or two, he was in the palace. The first thing he did was to report to Youngbae. Youngbae was surprised. Because Seokjin rarely got any days off and the king had officially given him a week off. "Why are you here?"

Seokjin chuckled nervously, "Umm... I had something to work on, so I thought working one day won't make any difference."

Youngbae knew it was an obvious lie. He had known Seokjin for years. But he remained silent, "Okay. But make sure you get enough rest."

Seokjin nodded, "Of course." He left after bowing to Youngbae.

He went to his office and locked it from the inside. He was very grateful that he didn't meet Namjoon in the hallways. He didn't know what he would do if Namjoon came in front of him. He was scared. The feelings in his heart were new. Seokjin didn't know how to handle them.

Another thing that scared him was the fear of losing someone so special to him.

Like my parents.

It was true. Seokjin had never let anyone across the tall walls he had built around his heart after he lost his parents. He could not bear to be left alone again. He would not be able to handle another void in his soul. He slid down the door as a broken breath left his mouth. He looked at the back of his hand that Namjoon had kissed affectionately. A tear fell from his eye. He wiped the tear immediately and he stood up.

Not in the office.

He took a few deep breaths before straightening his suit. He unlocked the office and sat behind his desk, burying himself in the work that could have been done even after a week.