The Wrong Address | COMPLETED

29. For You I Will

Zion

The doctor looked at me with pity that night. As I had been visiting my Dad more often than usual. Spending crazy numbers of hours with him as if I was about to lose him. It must have been odd seeing a guy my age, who could be doing anything on a Friday evening reading poems to my dad.

Yet he'd never understand. Why? Oh simply because he had friends. He had family and he had people in his corner to love and lift him up. I on the other hand had no one. I was alone in this season of my life.

I had pushed the only girl who ever cared to listen and see beyond my flaws away.

Ashlin hadn't texted me back since Saturday. She had clearly gotten tired of my bullshit and one word responses. My distance had shut her out.

It wasn't that I wanted to keep her at bay. Truly if I was honest with myself I wanted her closer to me than ever. I wanted to grab her face and stare into her soul for an eternity. I had clearly fallen for her mind, body and soul.

Which was the reason I had to keep my distance. As much as I wanted her, I was a danger to her and myself. I needed help and I was grateful for her help but it wasn't enough.

It was enough to find something in her to live for but now I needed to get professional help. I needed to properly heal from my past and my trauma. It was the only way I could possibly pursue something more with her.

Until then, I had to be fair with her. I didn't want to hurt her in the future because of any unresolved past issues. It would be unfair to bleed on her when she didn't cut me.

So for now I preferred staying by my father's side. As I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already did. Being with him made me realize that I should do it more often. As it could somehow help him to pull through and get better.

Yet the doctor's stares and whispers everytime they saw me made me feel terrible.

"Mr Atkins, we love that you're interacting with your Dad but please go home. Take a bath and get some rest." The man advised to my embarrassment.

How bad did I smell?

I had only missed 2 days of showering. Which wasn't that terrible to me. However based on the way the doctor spoke, it made me feel as if I reeked. So I gave him a nod of agreement and got ready to leave.

Kissing my old man on his forehead, I left the room with my head down. I was really falling into a depressed state. I needed to get back up and reclaim my life.

If not for myself, at least for my friends. For the two people that would blame themselves if I went under. I had to do it for Ashlin and Taylor. Especially Ashlin who had crossed the country just to save me.

After leaving the hospital, I drove to the grocery store to pick up some food. My fridge was empty and so I had resorted to pizza and take out for the past few days. I felt it was time I got my act together. Plus finals were starting soon.

If I was going to work on healing and getting better. I could start by doing my best in the exams. Then I'd search for a great therapist and begin therapy sessions. Which would help me in my journey to heal.

I could also visit the Church my aunt went to again. As it had been good for me before she had passed. It was really time I let her go in peace and got my self back.

For the longest while I had no idea who I was or should be.

Now I was going to be the best version of myself. Then when it was all good, I could be around Ashlin again.

I soon pulled up to the supermarket and got out of my car. After locking the doors I briskly walked to the entrance of the building. I just needed to grab the things I need then leave. I was praying no one I knew was around as I wasn't really in the mood to interact.