Shades of Chase (English Version)

Chapter 39

I could not fully imagine and understand which part of my body was hurting. I feel like I have broken bones. I feel like, so many people have tried to hurt me physically. I feel exhausted and drained. I feel like my bones were all about to crack if I dare to move.

I slowly opened my eyes, I felt struggling as I feel like even my eyes have been tired from so much crying. It's the blank white ceiling that greeted me. I can't hear anything but the sound coming from the air-condition and my heavy breathing.

I tried to tilt my head to the side and there I saw my mother lying on one of the couch. But what caught my attention was the man who's sitting beside the bed I was current in right now.

"R-Rich..." I tried to call him but my voice was too raspy. I tried to swallow but it's too difficult for me to do that. My throat was too dry to even mutter a word.

I tried to move my hand but saw that there was a syringe on it. Even if it pains me to move I tried my best to reach and tap Rich's shoulder. I tapped him several times before he finally woke up.

His eyes went wide upon seeing me awake and scanned my body. "Tanya, thank God you're awake. Are you feeling better? Are you feeling pain somewhere? Do you need anything?"

I didn't respond. I was just staring at him, silently asking him what he's doing here. But then waves of memories rushed in my mind. The memory of what had happened between Chase, Colleen and I quickly flashed through my mind.

"What happened Rich? W-Where is Chase?" I asked him one after another as I recall he was also in that place with us.

He didn't say anything which caused my heart to throb inside my chest. Horror filled me when I remember that I was bleeding before I totally passed out. I was bleeding with Chase.

With a heavy breathing I looked down on my stomach and tried to bring my hand above it. I swallowed hard as I felt the lump in my throat even if I haven't heard anything from him at all.

"R-Rich, our baby. What happened to my baby? The b-baby is fine, right?"

Tears started to stream down my eyes. My heart is still beating erratically like I was being chased by someone, while my hands continue to caress my stomach.
"Rich, p-please say something. Answer me please."

"I'm sorry, Tanya."

I shut my eyes tight upon hearing him. A hysterical cry went out of my throat as my hands automatically clutched the white sheet. I felt Rich try to hold my hand as if he's trying to comfort me but it's only futile.

No. That can't be possible. Not my baby.

"Tanya!"

I looked towards the direction of that voice and found my mom. She's running towards my direction, worry etched on her face. I felt even more devastated upon seeing her.

"Mama..." with a shaking voice, I called her.

She immediately hugged me, comforting me. I hugged her back as I let my tears fall on her shoulder. I clutched on her dress, my incoherent sobs bouncing across the walls.

"Tanya, please stop crying. Everything happens for a reason." She said trying to calm me.

What is the reason then? Why does it have to be always those innocent who are suffering? Why was our baby given only to be taken away from us? Why does Chase and I have to went through this situation? What have I done to deserve a punishment like this?

"Ma, why does it have to be our baby?" I sobbed hard. "I didn't even have the chance to hold my baby. I wasn't even given the chance to feel him move inside me. I didn't even have the chance to hear his heartbeat. I have so many plans, and there are so many things I want to experience with our child. Why was he taken away from us too soon?"

The room was filled my sobs. I was told that I had a miscarriage. I already passed out before I even reached the hospital, both Chase and I. It's Rich who brought us here. He's also the one looking after Reil for the mean time. I was asleep for a day after the surgery. That explains the hollowness I'm feeling down there.

I feel like there's something wrong with me. As if like something is missing.

"Mama, I want to see Chase. Does he know already about what happened to our baby?" I asked while looking afar.

I could not get over the fact that our son was gone. The thought couldn't leave my mind even for a moment. And every time I remember what happened to Chase and I at the hands of Colleen and his step father, I feel even more furious.
I have so many questions in my mind right now. There are so many things I want to know. I'm thinking how his stepfather is alive and what is his connection with Colleen. Did they plan this to have revenge against Chase?


"Chase hasn't woken up yet, son. He is already stable. He's actually lucky that the bullet didn't hit his heart. He just lost a lot of blood and still recovering," Mama replied as the smell of orange wafted throughout the room. "He doesn't know about your child yet."

Another set of tears streamed down my cheeks. As Chase's last words played in my head before he lost his consciousness.

"Save our baby, Allison. Please."

"I'm scare of what will happen to us. I don't know how he would take knowing that we lost our child, Ma." I said with a trembling voice. "I'm worried about Chase. How will he take this? What would he feel? He has already been through a lot. I'm worried as I know this news of losing our baby would surely devastate him."

Right this moment, I can't think of anything apart from Chase and how he would possibly feel when he learned about my miscarriage. I feel his world would crumble down again when he wakes up and knowing we lost our child.

He already had enough.

I had fallen asleep after crying again. When I woke up I found Rich looking after me. Mama is not around again.

Rich smiled at me. "Aunt Mercy left for a while. She has to go home to get you some personal things. I hope you don't mind if I'm the one watching over you."

I smiled sparingly at him. "I don't think I've thank you for what you've done Rich. I just want to know why you were there that time? And w-why are you with Chase?"

He released a sigh. "I saw you being kidnapped by those men. I was about to follow the car when Chase suddenly arrived. I told him what happened. It took us several hours before we can save you because we had to create a back-up plan. We arrived there together with the authorities. But the place was surrounded by armed men Tanya. The place was fully secured."

So we owe our lives to him. We wouldn't be saved if not for him. Despite losing our child, we still have something to be thankful because we were safe.

"Thank you so much Rich. I hope you wouldn't mind if we leave Reil for your care while we are still recovering."

"You have nothing to worry about that kid, Tanya. I'm on leave again for a month before I go back to work. I can look after Reil while you're both here."

I just smiled at him. I took a deep breath.

"Can you please walk me through Chase's room? I want to see him, Rich."

I saw how worry etched his face with my request.

"You haven't regained your strength from what happened, Tanya. Your body is still weak---"

"I'm good Rich. I feel better. Chase was the one who was deeply wounded so I can manage. I want to see him."

Rich was left with no choice but to grant my request. He was pushing the wheelchair I'm in as we are headed towards a room. He twisted the door knob and pushed it. We entered the door. We found a nurse inside fixing the dextrose and probably checking his vitals. She glanced at us but my eyes are glued on Chase lying on the hospital bed.

"Good afternoon Ma'am. How are you related to the patient?" the nurse asked.

"She's the girlfriend."

"Is that so? For the past few days, there wasn't anyone who comes here to visit him. You're the first person who came to visit him."

My heart clenched as I was nearing the man who let me see the real him even though it's hard for him to show it. He doesn't have any family to visit him. Because he doesn't have any family. He only has Reil and I. We could have added another member...if only he wasn't taken away from us.

"Rich, can you please leave us first?" I asked while my eyes are still focused on Chase who's peacefully lying on the bed.

They left me without a word. I held his hand and placed it in front of my lips. I kissed it as beads of tears fell from my eyes. My hold on his hand tightened. My eyes shut as my shoulders tremble while I silently mourn for the loss of our unborn child.

"I'm sorry Chase. I wasn't able to save our child. Please forgive me,"

I was in that position for several minutes when I felt his hand move. I looked up to him and saw him gradually open his eyes.

"Chase!" I called while my heart keeps pounding inside my chest.

His eyes first bore into me. He blinked before staring back at me.

"A-Allison..." he said in a hoarse voice.

He took a deep breath before closing his eyes again. His eyes might not yet be used on the bright lights of the room as he has been unconscious for several days.

I tried to stand up from the wheelchair and caressed his face. I smiled even if my tears are still streaming down from my eyes.

"How a-are you? A-are you okay?"

I chuckled. "You're the one whose lying on the hospital bed. Why are you asking me?"

He didn't answer. He tried to smile a little as he held my hand. I can see that he's still too weak to move so I was the one who held him.

"Where's Reil?" he asked through a breathless whisper while looking into my eyes.

"He's with Rich at the moment. He offered to look after him while we are both here recovering."

He nodded his head once. "And our baby?"

My smile immediately vanished when I heard him asked about our baby. I looked down to stop the tears from falling again. I smiled to hide the pain lingering in my face.

"Are you hungry? I'll peel some apples and oranges for you. Mama brought these fruits for you." I turned my back from him and was about to walk to his other side. "Hold on and I'll just—"

"Allison..." he called in a raspy voice. "How is our baby?"

I was literally taken aback. I couldn't help myself as I continue to walk to the other side of the bed. I held on the bed's railings as I tried to get support there because my knees literally weakened because of Chase's question.

"Our baby is f-fine, right?" He sounded so sure when he asked that.

My shoulders started to shiver as guttural cry escaped my throat. I looked down and covered my mouth with my hands as I continuously sob in place.

"I-I had a miscarriage, Chase..." I said while sobbing. "I wasn't able to save our baby, I'm sorry."


I rushed towards him and hugged him tight. I can feel him trembling as he cries with me as we both mourn towards our unborn child. His soft cries sound so painful as we both pour our hearts out in devastation.

"I'm sorry Chase." I said with a trembling voice, my head still leaning on his chest.

He brought his hand above my head as I felt him kiss me on my forehead.

"We will get through this, Allison. We can get through this."