Shades of Chase (English Version)

Chapter 40

Everything happens for a reason --- I keep telling myself that especially when our relationship was tested with the loss of our unborn child. Chase and I lost our child in the most devastating way, in a snap of a finger. I wanted to question the heavens for putting us in this situation. I wanted to asked him why he let us suffer when we didn't do anything to deserve this. We have not taken advantage of anyone.

We are the victims here. But why are we the ones suffering?

With everything that Chase and I went through, especially him since he was a kid, I was worried that he might not be able to cope anymore because his family is his strength to get him going. Me, Reil and our future son will be his inspiration to battle his demons and get through his mental condition.

I can't quite imagine how he would be able to accept this recent loss. I have no other wish for him but for him to stay strong. For Reil. For me. And for the family we will build. I am not losing hope.

Maybe what they say is right. Good things fall apart so better things fall off together.

The wind blew violently through my hair as I gazed out at the endless ocean. The salty smell of the ocean breeze was lingering in my nose. The sun was shining beautifully over the bluish sky, pouring its rays down the waves as they looked like a bed of diamonds.

I felt Chase's grip on my hand tightened. I feel, he wants to convey to me that we need to be resilient despite these trials. I am ready to be brave. For Mom, for Reil, especially, for him.

"The heaven for sure has its reason why this happened to us, Allison." He said in a low voice.

"I'm certain there is Chase. I'm sure God has a plan for us. I know that for now, it still hurts the both of us but soon enough, we will see the light again."

"You are already the sun. Without you, I don't think I would be able to move on from this. Thank you for not leaving me after we lost our baby."

I looked at him. His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched the ocean. His white polo sleeve was being blown by the wind as well as his hair.

We were standing in the end of the bridge in the middle of his private island. We're both wearing white with a heavy heart. I feel extreme pain, but trying to be brave as we comfort and support each other.

"Why would I leave you?" I asked.

"We both know that if it's not because of me, our baby would be very much alive as of now."

I took a deep breath. "Don't blame yourself Chase. You are not at fault. We are all victims of the situation. If there's someone to blame, it's none other than Colleen and your step father. They conspired against you. So don't blame yourself, please."

It's been weeks since that incident happened. I had a miscarriage, Chase recovered and got better from his gunshot wound, and most importantly Colleen together with Meynard and Chase's stepfather are all put behind bars. Everything was well-planned. Colleen and Chase's stepfather conspired to bring him down. He was there with them to make Chase sign an agreement that he would legally give his companies and assets to him.

"If had just known that my wealth was what they all wanted, I could have given it to them so easy. They shouldn't have had to resort to this. Probably our baby was still alive by now."

He keeps on telling me that for the past few days. I feel his guilt as he blames himself for everything that happened to us. That's why I'm staying by his side, I keep telling him that it's not his fault.

"Are you still willing to spend the rest of your life with me, Allison? Despite my imperfections, despite the person who I really am, do you still find yourself loving me till your last breath?"

I took a deep breath before I looked at Chase. He's already looking at me; emotions were dancing in his caramel eyes. My grip on his hand tightened as I look at him with a serious expression on my face.

"I don't see myself spending the rest of my life and loving anyone apart from you Chase. I don't care about your past, your alters how many they may be. Perfect or not. Complicated or not, I don't care. I accept you for who you are, flaws and all. Those things will not be a reason for me to leave you."

I smiled. Despite that I still couldn't help the tears streaming down my face. Chase brought his other hand on my cheek and brushed the tears away with his thumb. I held his hand and brought it to my lips. I kissed it with so much love and respect.

"I love you Chase. I love you so much. I want to build a family with you and spend my life loving you. I want to create happy memories with you so that you won't have to go back to your old self. If ever the time comes you feel your life is turning dark again, I will be your light at the end of the tunnel."

I saw the tears forming on the side of his eyes while he stares at me. The wind blew more violently causing for his tears to be blown away. He chuckled and looked down, tried to wipe the tears using his thumb and sighed.

He was still holding my hand when I saw him kneel on one knee while looking up at me. I brought my hands on my mouth while I muffled a sob. I saw how Chase get a white gold ring from his pocket and showed it right in front of me.

He smiled as tears kept on flowing from his cheeks.

"Life had been so cruel to me ever since I was a child, Allison. I almost give up, I even thought that I was incapable of loving someone because I, myself, didn't know the definition of that word. But then I met you and the game suddenly changed. I let you know who I truly am. You accepted me... wholly. You showed me that despite my situation, I can be loved too. You made me feel that I'm such a lucky bastard to find a woman like you. Money and power are nothing compared to you. Because you, Allison, are my true wealth..."

He looked down, bit his lower lip while crying. When he looked up and looked at me again, his eyes are already bloodshot from crying.

"In front of our baby, will you accept this ring and marry me?" His voice cracked into tears. "Please?"

I nodded several time in approval while sobbing. "Yes Chase. I will marry you."

He spits a curse and let go of me as if relieved of hearing my answer. He immediately wore the ring in my ring finger and stood up. He instantly hugged me tight as I hugged him back.

"Thank you Allison." I heard him whisper on my ear before I felt him kiss me on the cheek and went back to hugging me.

"You don't have to thank me for accepting your proposal Chase. I accepted it for the sole reason that I love you."

He let go of our hug and look at me straight to my eyes. He tilted his head and gave my lips a butterfly kiss. It lasted for a couple of seconds before he pulled away. He then placed a kiss on my forehead before we both look ahead of us, on the endless ocean.

The sun was already preparing to set down over the horizon. From being bluish, the sky was turning into tangerine.

Chase took the jar near our feet and opened it. We're both looking at it until I heard him released a sigh. He then looked at me.

"Ready?" he asked.

I nodded. Chase kissed the jar before he scattered the ash of our unborn child on the ocean. Just as the wind blows, the ash was blown away.

Chase pulled me closer to him as we watched the quiet waves of the ocean that seemed to sympathize with us.

"I'm sure our little angel is already happy right now." Chase said.

"I'm sure he's happy that we've let go of him."

He took a deep breath. "Promise me that we will build a happy family, Allison. There will be no space for tears and pain. I'll make sure of that."

"That's my ultimate dream Chase. To build a family with you beside me. I believe we would be able to fulfill that dream soon."

He pulled me closer to him and places a kiss on my head. I put my other hand on his waist as we both watched the waves in the ocean that now reflected the orange sky.

"I love you, Allison. From then until now... it's you. And it will always be you till I breathe my last air."

A smile blossomed in my lips. And like the ocean in front of us, I know the love I have for him also knows no boundaries and limits.

Chase is the only man I can see myself growing old with. Despite his life's uncertainties and ugly past, I knew in myself that my life would never be this colorful without him in it. Chase Saavedra's dark and sunless shades will always be my favorite among all the colors. Be it in this lifetime or in the next.

END