m - insecure

6.8K 49 3
                                    

tw!!
eating disorder. if this topic makes you uncomfortable in any way, please skip this story. love you!!

________________________________

lately i've been body shamed by a numerous amount of people and a numerous amount of times. it's been getting really hard lately. i can barely even look in a mirror without bursting into tears. i've been limiting how much i eat and haven't really been eating at all lately. luckily matt hasn't noticed but that won't last long. we were all currently in the car on the way to get mcdonald's, it was really late. i hadn't eaten all day, and sure i was hungry, but i wasn't gonna let myself eat. we got to the drive through, and matt asked around for what everyone wants. once he got to me, i shook my head no.
"you sure? i haven't actually seen you eat in a while." he said, looking at me with a concerned look on his face.
"o-oh, yeah i have been just usually when im alone i guess" i said, pretty obviously lying. he nodded in response and told the worker that was all. we got the food and parked in the empty parking lot to eat like we always did. i was just on my phone, not paying attention to the argument chris and nick were having. i saw a text message from matt pop up at the top of my screen. it read, "are you okay, love?" i looked up to see him already looking at me. i nodded at him and turned off my phone, deciding to try to engage in their conversation. he nodded slightly and also turned his phone off.

they finished eating and matt drove us home. once we got there we all walked inside and seperated, and i went to me and my boyfriends shared room. i took my shoes off and laid in the bed, getting on my phone. not long after, matt walked in the room. i looked up and smiled at him.
"hi baby" i said, setting my phone down. he smiled back, but it looked like something was wrong.
"is everything okay?" i asked, concerned. he shook his head no.
"well.. what's wrong?" i said, getting anxious.
"baby.. i know you haven't been eating." he said, sitting in front of me and grabbing both of my hands in his. i stayed quiet and looked down. he didn't waste any time to put his hand on my chin to lift my head up to look at him.
"love.. you really need to try to eat for me. okay? it's not good for you and i don't want you getting hurt." he said, not taking his eyes off mine. my eyes filled with tears but i tried blinking them away, ending unsuccessfully as a single tear made its way down my face. matt quickly placed his hand gently on my face and wiped the tear away with his thumb.
"it's okay baby.. you can cry. just promise me you'll try to eat something. it doesn't have to be a lot. we can start small.. okay?" he said, as i leaned into his hand which was still placed on my face. i nodded slightly, and he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my lips. he pulled away and smiled at me.
"i love you" he said, never once taking his eyes off mine.
"i love you too, matt. thank you." i said, pulling him into a hug and digging my head into his chest. he wrapped his arms around me tightly and hugged me back, kissing the top of my head. he slowly laid me down, placing my head on his chest and putting his arms around me. i wrapped my arms around him and snuggled into his side. jeez, do i love this boy.

sturniolo imagines !!Wo Geschichten leben. Entdecke jetzt