Crushes Over Papercuts- A Mid 90s Tale

Chapter 4

I faced the door with my back to the bookshelves. In front of me laid a fresh spiral notebook and an opened algebra textbook centered on the table. I pretended to be studying the materials in front of me but I was actually doodling little flowers and trees with my pencil- anything to occupy my anxious mind and steady my shaking hand.

To an outsider I was engrossed in the numbers on the page but my true attention laid at the main door of the library. Each time the door swung open my heart rate increased in anticipation of who may be on the other side. The door opened and closed every couple of minutes starting around 2:55 but then trickled down to every five minutes or so until twenty minutes later I was the only student left in the library. I checked the clock on the wall against my watch. It was two minutes ahead. 3:17. My fuzzy plan to befriend Cody had become a non-starter.

I interrupted Mrs. Fletcher who was filing note cards into the card catalog drawers. "Excuse me Mrs. Fletcher, but my tutoring student hasn't arrived yet. Did Cody Morris confirm he was coming?"

"Let me check." She walked behind the circulation desk but before she pulled out her notebook, the door opened again.

"There he is," she said, her eyes now on the door.

Before I had time to realize what was happening, Cody was heading right towards Mrs. Fletcher. His eyes never met mine and he didn't seem to notice me sitting alone. I jumped up to join him at the desk.

'Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Fletcher." He dropped his book on her desk. "Where's my tutor?"

Mrs. Fletcher gestured towards me standing behind him. This was the closest I'd ever been to him or any of them. He was cuter and taller than I expected, perhaps because I only ever noticed one guy, with a solid and thick build cushioned in softness.

"Hi, I'll be helping you with Algebra," I told him with my right hand extended out. He looked down at it, looked back up at me, and shook my hand. I immediately did an internal eye roll at myself. This is not how I saw it in my head or how I practiced it in my mirror. I was screwing up my plan already. This guy would have zero interest in being my friend if I acted so formal and uptight.

I put my hand to better use and pointed at my table. "I saved us a space to study over there," then walked away before I could catch any possible disappointment in his eyes. I headed to the table and held my breathe hoping he'd follow me. His footsteps behind me told me he did.

I quickly turned the page to cover my random garden doodles and he took the seat across from me.

"Sorry I'm late." He unzipped his backpack and took out a pencil. "I completely forgot that tutoring started today. I usually leave right after school but Coach Hall saw me walking to the parking lot and told me he'd bench me if missed my appointment." He rolled the pencil between his fingers. "Coach said you'd be good for me.'

"It's no problem. I was just getting started on some homework."

It was a little white lie but better than the truth in this instance.

He smiled and I noticed little dimples form in the sides of his cheek.

"You're on the football team?" I felt idiotic as the words came out. We all knew who the players were. The pep rallies that everyone attended to get out of class and the Varsity jackets they wore as often as possible even in 85-degree weather made it obvious.

"Yeah, I play Fullback," he replied and opened up his textbook. "Can you explain algebraic expressions to me?"

No more small talk I guess.

An hour later I had explained and demonstrated the terms coefficients and bases while he had solved six equations. His dimples reappeared when he realized four of the answers were correct.