Crushes Over Papercuts- A Mid 90s Tale

Chapter 47

I knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth so I braced myself for the inevitable.

"Jenny is suspended from school."

I winced as if my finger had been pricked. From the corner of my eye I saw my mom twist her hand around the strap of her purse.

"For how long?" she asked.

"Three days. It starts next Monday and she can return to school Thursday."

From five to three days. Maybe the letters did help.

"And then she can return to school as normal?"

Principal Morris nodded. "If she can keep herself out of trouble, yes." He closed the folder on his desk. "It will stay on her permanent record but otherwise she can resume her studies and extra-curricular activities."

I wished everything could return to normal but too much had changed.

My mom stood up. "Anything else?"

"No, that'll be all, Ms. Bloom. Thank you for coming in."

I followed my mom out of the office and passed Ms. Deskin on our way. She gave me a strained smile.

"See you next week, Jenny."

I knew Ms. Deskin tried to help me and none of this was her fault but I ignored her. My anger hadn't released. I had prepared for this suspension and had even been warned, but the actuality of it happening still pissed me off. Courtney got away with it all...she won. And I couldn't undo it. I tried, my friends tried, and the ending didn't change. Acceptance was all that remained but that was a struggle I hadn't yet mastered.

My mom turned the car ignition on. "I'm glad that's finally over."

"You're not mad?"

"I passed mad a long time ago but now we can put this whole thing behind us and move forward. You heard Morris, things will go back to normal if you stay away from drugs and don't make any more stupid decisions."

I turned away and stared out the window.

If my own mom couldn't believe me, why should anyone else?

"And if you keep focused on your studies and track, a great school will overlook this one indiscretion."

I wanted to believe her but I had buried the hope of attending my dream school when I learned my suspension was inescapable. What surprised me though, was how short that mourning period was. My dreams and the future I once imagined was slowly reshaping into something else entirely but into what, I didn't know.

She put her hand on mine. "I know what a sacrifice it was to let go of Ben and you've proven I can begin to trust you again so you're allowed to stay overnight with the girls again. But-," her mouth tensed, "no parties, no boys, and no late nights. And the pager stays with you for the next few weeks or until I say otherwise."

I should have been relieved that the chains around me had loosened but instead it felt like gravity had pressed down harder against me. I was a liar. I wasn't trustworthy...at least not in the way my mom believed. Her and I were too divided on the issue of Ben and no perfect arrangement of words from my mouth existed to bring us together. And if I had to hide Ben from her for the next two years, I would. It was far from ideal but until she could see Ben for the man he truly was and not as a scapegoat for my bad decisions, there was no other way.

#

"I guess this calls for a celebration?" Lauren smiled weakly around the table. "You know...since it could have been worse."

I shrugged. "Yeah, it could have been worse. And I've got some of my freedom back so that's a positive." I raised my soda cup. "Cheers to freedom and friends!"

We clanked our glasses together as freedom and friends was repeated.

"And to you guys for all of your help." I blinked back my tears. "I could never repay you for what you've done. I am truly thankful for everything."

Nicole elbowed me. "You would have done the same."

Tiff slumped into her chair. "I'm glad it's over but like...I'm sad."

"Courtney will someday get punished for what she's done, Tiff," Lauren told her. "I'm sure of it."

"It's not about that. It's just...I was having so much fun with the Snoop Crew and now it's over and it gives me the blues."

"We can go back to having fun when we hang out instead of plotting schemes," I said.

"But I liked the plotting."

"Me too," Lily confessed. "Can't deny that it kept things interesting."

I laughed. "It feels good to be able to laugh about it. And maybe looking back the Snoop Crew will be one of our best memories and the bad will have fallen away."

"For a final goodbye," Nicole said and put her hand out. "To the Snoop Crew."

We added our hands to hers. "Snoop Crew."

Lily checked her watch. "There's still time to catch the second half of the basketball game if we want to go. It's an away game but we can go cheer on our boys."

Nicole nodded. "It's been a while since we've gone out."

"I can finally have some guilt-free fun," I said. "My suspension doesn't start until Monday so let's do it." I touched the pager tucked into my jeans. "Gotta call my mom and let her know where I'll be."