Crushes Over Papercuts- A Mid 90s Tale

Chapter 40

My mom rolled her suitcase into my bathroom as I was getting ready for school and handed me a small plastic rectangle.

"Here," she said.

I spit out my toothpaste. "You got me a pager? Isn't that a little ironic since only doctors and drug dealers have pagers?"

"Don't be cheeky."

We hadn't spoken much since Monday so I considered this progress.

"I have to go out of town tonight. I tried to get out of it but-," she flicked lint off her new suit, "I have no choice so you're staying at Nicole's tonight."

I rinsed out my mouth to hide my smile.

"You're still grounded so no malls, football games, or fun of any kind. I talked with Valerie who informed me that her and Mr. Watson had dinner plans but that they'd be home by nine." She tapped on the pager. "If this thing beeps, you have ten minutes to call me and the caller ID better show Nicole's house number or you're grounding will be indefinite. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"And you are not to give that number out to anyone else, not even the girls." She stared at me then wrapped her arms around me. I had never felt uncomfortable hugging my mom until that moment.

She kissed me on the head. "You've royally pissed me off but I still love you."

"I love you, too."

#

It had been five days since the incident at my locker and I hadn't heard a peep from the school regarding my investigation. I was hopeful, though doubtful, they were getting to the truth and would update me when they had something. When Ms. Deskin pulled me aside on the way to the cafeteria, I worried another letter and a replay of Monday was about to take place.

"Can I talk to you in my office?" she asked.

"A decision hasn't been made, right? I was told two weeks."

"No decision yet. I'd just like to chat with you." She didn't break eye contact. "Alone."

I followed her to her office, relieved to have an excuse to skip lunch. I was getting tired of watching Courtney fawn over Ben at their table. I sat across from her desk in the same chair where six months earlier we had planned my tutoring. Things had changed.

She closed the door behind her. "This will be a private and confidential conversation between just you and I. This will not be in any report, you understand?"

"Understood."

"And what I tell you cannot be repeated outside these walls."

Was she about to tell me something good or bad?

She fiddled with some papers on her desk then finally looked at me. "The rules require an investigation to last at least two weeks but at this point that's only a formality. You will be suspended for five days."

The room closed in around me my head began to throb against my skull. "They've already made their decision? Did they even ask other students if I've sold drugs? Have they done anything?" my voice getting louder with each question.

"They did confront Courtney with your accusation but she has denied knowing anything about the drugs. They've also interviewed a few students that had previous trouble with drugs and no one has admitted that you sell drugs."

"Doesn't that prove something?"

"Maybe but it's unlikely that anyone would admit to buying drugs from you since it would only make them guilty as well."

"What can I do?" I pleaded. "This is going to ruin my life."

"Find proof."

"How? It's not like she's going to hide drugs in my locker a second time for me to catch her in the act," I told her.

"I honestly wish I could help you more but I'm not sure how. You could try and appeal your suspension."

Tears watered the surface of my eyes but I refused to let one more drop fall down my cheek because of Courtney. I swallowed back my emotions. "Can I stay on the track team even with a suspension?"

"That hasn't been decided." She took a deep breath. "My words probably won't comfort you but a few of the teachers and administrators did fight for you. It's the only reason you're not getting expelled. It could have been worse."

I stared down at my shoes. "Thank you for letting me know Ms. Deskin. I truly appreciate it." I grabbed my backpack to leave.

"Before I forget, Jenny." She reached into the top drawer of her desk. "They've released your property."

She held out my pink pencil case and a piece of paper listing its contents which I tucked into the front pocket of my bag. "That thing barely closes now but I think everything has been accounted for."

I plucked at the rubber band holding the two halves together. "I've had it since middle school. I like to think the broken clasp provides easy access now."

"We had to do an inventory on the contents. They're listed on that paper."

I didn't want to ask but I had to know. "Did anyone read my personal notes?"

I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"What notes?"

"The notes my boyfriend wrote me." I opened the pink case. "They were in here. Nine of them."

"I'm sorry Jenny, but two of us went through that case and everything listed is there."

I ripped out the inventory sheet from my bag and scanned the contents. There was nothing about my notes or any loose papers.

"She stole them!" My hands were shaking. "They're probably burnt to ashes by now."

"Jenny, you need to calm down."

"Calm down! There's something seriously wrong with her, Ms. Deskin. Sane people don't act this way and you guys refuse to do anything to help me!"

I crumbled up the piece of paper, squeezed it as hard as I could, and let it fall from my hand. Then I calmly stood up and exited her office.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To find proof."