Crushes Over Papercuts- A Mid 90s Tale

Chapter 15

Lily applied a second coat of mascara at the red light. "What's the latest with you and Mark?"

"We're good." I tugged at the bracelet around my wrist. "I wouldn't call him my boyfriend yet, but he bought a corsage to match my dress so that's...something."

Lily saw Ben ask me to dance last weekend so that was open news between us girls and every day after school they'd ask if Ben talked to me and every day I'd give them the same answer- No. Thankfully they stopped asking to put me out of my misery.

But I wasn't upset and was actually grateful Lily witnessed Ben offer me his hand because a part of me believed I had made the whole thing up. However, if I had expected something to be different between him and I at school, I had only deceived myself. He never looked my way when he passed my locker or even glanced at me from his lunch table. Nothing had changed between us.

Lauren twisted from her passenger seat and rested on the center console. "I can't believe you're not riding with us to homecoming. It won't be the same." She didn't need to navigate tonight. Lily knew where she was going.

"I'll still be with you guys. I just won't be riding with you, but I'll definitely dance and sit with you," I told her.

"And after the dance? You're staying the night with us, right?"

"Definitely! I'll meet up with you guys after Mark drops me off."

Lily smiled at me through the rear-view mirror. "I knew there was no way you were going to the hotel after the dance with Mark."

I narrowed my eyes. "What hotel?"

"Marcus told me that after homecoming and prom their crew has an after-party at a hotel and they stay the night." She rolled her eyes. "You know...in separate rooms."

I guess overnight stays were too much even for Lily.

"I assumed Mark asked you and you told him to kick rocks."

Nicole raised her eyebrow. "Did Mark say anything to you about that?"

Nicole had already grown suspicious of Mark. She had peppered me with questions when we were alone after school on Wednesday. "Why do some of the guys not seem to like Mark? And why is he always hanging around Courtney? And why doesn't he eat lunch in the cafeteria?"

I didn't have a good answer for her.

I shook my head. "Maybe he isn't planning on going?"

"Would you even consider going even if your mom didn't somehow find out?," Lily asked.

"No way!" I blurted out. "I've only been talking to him for like three weeks and I'm not ready for any of that yet." I leaned forward. "Would you have gone with Marcus?"

"I like the boy but I know his reputation and I don't want any of that to rub off on me. Besides, I need more time to know that this is real with us," she said. "Luckily that conversation never happened since he has his cousins' wedding and won't even be in town that night." She twisted in her seat while we waited for the light to turn green. "But when he told me about the hotel, I could tell he was fishing for how I would respond if he asked. The only thing I said was that it sucks he won't be there but I'm happy to go with you guys."

"Maybe you should talk to Mark about it tonight to make sure you're both on the same page?" Lauren suggested.

"How would I even ask him such a thing? I don't want him to think I'm asking because I'm interested."

"I don't know...maybe tell him your curfew time and see how he reacts."

#

Nauseousness rolled over me the moment we pulled up to the house. Even armed with the knowledge that I was invited to this party didn't stop the sick feeling. Maybe it was the unknown- like these people didn't really want me here and would one day decide I was banished. Or maybe it was knowing that I would see Ben.