Crushes Over Papercuts- A Mid 90s Tale

Chapter 42

BEN

I flipped off the headlights and unbuckled my seatbelt. Her car was parked two spots down so I knew she was waiting inside for me. I pinched the back of my neck to release some of the pressure. It had been tensed since lunch...since Courtney agreed to meet me here. The note I wrote for Jenny told her where I'd be and who I'd be with tonight. She hated it. I did too.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk to her or sit across from her. I don't want anything to do with her, but I will...for Jenny.

I opened the door handle and forced my feet to the asphalt.

Let's get this over with.

Courtney was sitting in the same booth she watched Jenny and I share our first night at Daisy's.

Her eyes danced when she saw me. "I ordered you a large coffee with two creams. I assume your coffee ordered hasn't changed." Her skin glowed under the soft, yellow light. "It hasn't been that long since we've been out together, Ben."

"Yep, it's still the same," I told her as I slid across the leather seat. "Thanks, Courtney."

She smiled. "No one knows you better."

Too bad I never knew you.

I struck up a short conversation with Margie when she dropped off our drinks. I was stalling. I had no idea where to start with Courtney.

When Margie left, Courtney lowered her V-neck sweater but I averted my eyes.

"I'm really glad you asked me out. I've had so much I wanted to tell you but you never gave me the opportunity."

"That's why we're here Courtney...to talk."

"I've done a lot of thinking about our relationship and what went wrong before. We can get it right this time." She reached across the table and wrapped her hands around mine. "I still love you, Ben."

I used to believe Courtney was the prettiest girl in school but I couldn't find her beauty anymore. It had vanished. The girl I thought I knew didn't exist and she never had.

I pulled my hands back and placed them under the table. "Courtney, we're not here to get back together."

The muscles in her neck tightened. "Then why are we here?"

"I want you to tell the school admin that you framed Jenny. Admit what you did."

Her eyes widened. "Ben, you know me. I would never do something like that. I can't believe you'd even accuse me of such a thing."

I turned away. I couldn't stand her lying to my face. "I know about the letter to Kimberly's parents. I know you stole the photo I gave Jenny and I know those drugs were not hers."

"I...I don't know what to say to that Ben. I have no idea what you're talking about since I've done nothing wrong."

Her tone was convincing, I'd give her that.

"We can find a way to keep you from getting in a lot of trouble if you come clean, Courtney. I'll support you."

"Support me?" she snapped. "Ever since she's been in your life it's only been about her. She's all you care about and you barely even know the girl. We've been together for three years. You and I have a history." She turned my chin to face her. "Things were perfect with us before she showed up."

I removed her hand and placed it on the table. "Courtney, that's not true. Things haven't been great with us for a long time."

Her voice softened. "Ben, you and I are meant to be together and I know you'll see that too. You've been blinded by her but when she's gone we can be together again."

"I don't know how else to say this, and I apologize for being so blunt, but you and I are never getting back together."

She rolled her eyes. "You say that every time we break up."

I leaned over the table and stared her in the eye. "I'm in love with Jenny."

I knew those words stung and, even after everything she's done, a part of me wanted to reach over and hold her to protect her from the venom in them.

"You have never told me you loved me," her voice weak. "Not ever."

"I don't know what to say to that. I've never felt this way before."

She shook her head. "I don't believe it. This little girl comes between us and all of a sudden you're in love."

I threw up my arms. "Courtney, she didn't come between us. She didn't break us up. I did. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me."

"We'll be back together, Ben. We just need more time alone."

"You're not listening to me. We're not good together and if you were honest with yourself you'd admit that you were miserable with me. I never gave you what you wanted and that's not fair to you." I touched her hand. "You've gone far enough with this. You've already hurt Jenny more than she deserved and I'll never forgive you if she gets punished. Confess and there's a chance we could still be friends."

She jerked her hand back and the glasses wobbled against the plastic table. "I didn't do anything! And I don't want to talk about Jenny Bloom anymore!"

I stood up and tossed ten dollars on the table.

"You're leaving?" she pleaded. "Don't go like this. Let's get in your Jeep and go somewhere alone."

"I thought I could reason with you...that you hadn't slipped so far away from who I thought you were but I was wrong."

I pushed the door open but before it closed behind me, I heard her yell out. "You can't rescue her from this, Ben Avery!"