rockstar | gvf

chapter thirty seven: what have i done?

amber had instantly went back to her bunk when she and josh returned to the tour bus, and she didn't see jake at all that night.

she really hoped that she'd see him today.

amber then heard female laughter, and she rolled her eyes, knowing that taylor was watching old videos of allison.

amber climbed out of her bunk.

"taylor, i swear to god if you keep watching this stupid videos you took of allison." amber said, then pulling open his curtain, but instead of a saddened taylor with his phone, it was the complete opposite.

taylor and emily, their naked bodies cuddling close to each other as they had a quiet conversation yet laughed loudly.

"what on earth..." amber trailed off.

taylor then looked to amber, wide eyed and emily tried to grab some of the blanket to cover herself up some more.

"well isn't this a development." amber stated.

"amber..." taylor said.

amber then started laughing, "i didn't know you'd actually find a distraction that easily!"

taylor then chuckled softly.

"so i'm just a distraction to you?" emily asked softly, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"oh no... no no." taylor said.

emily then aggressively pulled her clothes on from under the blankets, pushing herself out of his bunk — almost falling in the process.

"i should've known that this was only a one night stand... after all you are a 'rockstar'." emily spat out, then storming out of the bus.

"oh... i take it that she expected more?" amber asked, watching her storm off.

taylor sighed, "i guess so."

he then pulled his pants on from under the covers and jumped out of his bunk, pulling a shirt over his head.

"what are you doing?" amber asked, watching as taylor began to walk away.

"i'm going after her." he said simply.

"taylor, going after a girl? never in my life had i experienced such a big moment in history. for once in his life he doesn't want a one night stand? this is unbelievable." amber said.

taylor laughed before exiting the bus, running after emily.

amber then shook her head in disbelief, not being able to picture taylor committing to a relationship.

amber then got changed and looked through the window, deciding to go on a walk through the city.

she exited the bus, and as she roamed then streets mindlessly, she bumped into josh.

"what are you doing here?" he asked her.

"I was just on a walk, you?" amber asked.

"i was going to buy you some breakfast." josh said, holding up a paper bag.

amber smiled, "you didn't have to."

"but i wanted to." josh said.

amber and josh then started walking together, eventually finding a park bench where they sat down and ate together.

amber then knew she couldn't put it off any longer... she had to tell josh.

"josh... i have something to tell you." amber said.

josh then looked into amber's eyes.

he knew what was coming.

"i'm really sorry if this hurts you, but i don't have the same feelings that you have for me... i somewhat wish i did, but i don't want to be in a relationship with you where you're putting in all the effort." amber said, "it isn't fair on you."

josh gulped, looking away from amber.

"is it because of jake?" he asked.

amber bit her lip nervously.

"yes." she said softly.

josh shifted his body position, still not looking into amber's eyes.

"you promised me, amber." josh said, his voice cracking.

"i know i did, and i'm sorry josh." amber said, "but i can't change how i feel about him... and i can't ignore it any longer."

"he's difficult amber." josh said, "it won't be easy all the time."

amber nodded, "but i can see he's trying." she said.

josh stayed silent.

"why him? what's so good about him?" josh asked.

"are you sure you want to know?" amber asked.

josh nodded.

"well it's the way he does things. he's careful, considerate. he's subtle... i may not be able to see what he's doing for me straight away and there's always more of a hidden meaning behind the things he does. he acts tough, and he's quiet, but behind all that he's sweet and caring, though it doesn't really show for others that often. i feel like when we're around each other we're different people... we bring out the best in each other. we're comfortable with each other and i think we have this hidden language... i can tell how he feels and he can tell how i feel. he just knows me without really knowing all of me yet. i don't know how to explain it quite well, but all i know is that... we're meant for each other." amber explained.

there was silence for a few moments as josh proceeded what amber had just said.

"so you really like him then?" josh asked.

"i really like him, josh." amber said.

"and you're sure that there's nothing i can do about it?" josh asked.

amber chuckled, "no there isn't anything you can do."

josh then chuckled lightly and looked to amber.

"as long as you're happy, amber, then i'm happy too." he said.

"i'm happy... i just hope he'll want to be with me. i know the last conversation you had with him would say otherwise." amber said.

"you heard that?" josh asked.

amber nodded.

"well, i know for sure he'll definitely want you... after all he's been head over heels for you ever since he saw a clip of you on youtube playing guitar." josh said.

"i don't know... he's been really distant lately." amber said.

"that's not your fault, like he said, he's trying to get us together, so he's just distancing himself so he can cope better. but trust me, he really does like you, so just tell him, go to him, i'm sure he won't back off any longer when he hears you say it standing in-front of him." josh said.

"you really think he'll listen?" amber asked.

"he'd be an idiot not to." josh said.

amber then smiled and stood up.

"do you know where he is?" she asked him.

"i'll call him and message you... you head back to the tour bus, he'll probably be there anyway." josh said.

amber smiled again and hugged josh tightly.

"thank you." she said.

"it's alright, now to get 'em!" josh said, smiling as he watched her eagerly run off back in the direction of where the tour bus was parked.

josh then pulled out his phone and dialed jake. he answered after a few rings.

"what's up?" jake asked.

"where are you?" josh asked.

"uhhhh, i'm having a smoke outside the tour bus, why?" jake asked.

"thanks, bye." josh said.

josh then opened messages and tapped on ambers name.

josh 🌞
he's outside the tour bus,
good luck.

amber
thank you!! xx

josh then smiled, imaging those x's being real, but then he quickly remembered the conversation he just had with her, and the situation he had just gotten himself into.

what have i done? josh asked himself.