chapter forty two: this is all my fault

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beep, beep, beep.

her eyes adjusted to the light in the room, confused as to where she were until she realised what the beeping was.

"look who's finally up." a voice said softly.

amber looked to her right to see taylor leaning up against the bed.

"how you feeling?" taylor asked as he ran his fingers through her hair softly.

"i'm okay." amber said, "b-but the show... oh my gosh, taylor! we're gonna miss the show!" she then exclaimed, frantically trying to get out of the bed.

"relax, relax!" taylor said, calming her down. "they've cancelled the show okay?"

amber sat back in the bed, furrowing her eyebrows.

"wh-what about josh and jake, sam and danny? did they play?" amber asked.

"nick told me that they noticed that something was up, and then one of the crew members just kind of pulled them over and they left the stage... without saying anything to the crowd." taylor said.

amber sighed, "gosh, i feel so bad."

"look we'll be back, okay? maybe just after a little bit though." taylor said.

"this is all my fault." amber said, her eyes beginning to well up.

she felt horrible that fans had come tonight to watch the two bands play and barely even got to see one.

"amber, this isn't your fault. you've been under a lot of pressure lately, it's fine." taylor said, squeezing her hand tight.

amber then saw nick, danny, sam, jake and josh waiting outside. jake's leg bouncing up and down while he sat in his seat, fiddling with the rings on his fingers and wiping his hands against his pants constantly.

jake looked up and then made eye contact with amber, and he instantly jumped up from his seat and rushed into the room.

"amber..." he said softly, looking into her eyes.

he then pulled her into a tight hug.

"i'm so glad you're okay." he said as he squeezed amber.

he pulled away, and she smiled softly to him.

"you have no idea how worried i was... i thought... well i don't know what i thought. i just hoped you were okay, you couldn't just go, not when i didn't get the chance to tell you that i-"

jake was cut off by josh walking past him, eager to take the attention off of jake.

"i got you these." josh said, handing amber several small sunflowers.

she saw a note attracted to the flower and read it in her head.

'wishing you a speedy recovery as i have lots to tell you, and much more to know. lots of love, josh x'

amber smiled softly, "thank you, josh." she said, putting the flowers in an empty vase beside her bed.

"are you alright? how are you feeling." josh asked, placing his hand over ambers.

amber shifted uncomfortably.

"i'm just fine, josh." amber said, pulling her hand away from under josh's.

josh frowned, "okay." he said as moved away from amber.

nick then sat beside taylor and smiled to amber.

"quite the scare you gave us, am." nick said.

amber sighed, and smiled softly.

sam and danny then walked over, giving amber a hug and a sweet message before they all were piled into the room, standing and sitting, each one of them looking to amber.

"this is weird." amber said, chuckling.

a doctor then entered the room and introduced himself, before reading off the clipboard in his hands.

"look it's not that serious, probably just from stress as you had a high blood pressure." the doctor said, "anything been causing you stress recently?" he then asked.

amber sighed, "yeah, a few things."

she looked between josh and jake.

"well if it's something you can control, then you should try and fix it, but if not... you can always get some help." the doctor suggested.

amber nodded, "okay, thank you."

"when is she allowed to leave?" jake asked.

"i'd say tomorrow morning." the doctor says, "we'd just like to keep an eye on her for a little while longer, but everything should be fine."

each of the boys thanked the doctor as he left the room and they all looked back to amber.

each of them looked exhausted.

"is the tour bus out the front?" amber asked.

the boys nodded.

"well you guys should stay in there for the night, it's much more comfortable than up here." amber said, "you all look so tired."

one by one the boys said their goodbyes — taylor squeezing amber's hand softly, sam and danny giving her a hug, nick and jake waving to her, while josh stayed back.

"i can just stay here you know." josh suggested.

amber thought about it for a moment but then that ultimately meant she had to talk to him about something she really dreaded even thinking about.

amber then noticed jake in the doorway, and she smiled to him, and he smiled sympathetically back to her, before leaving the room.

"it's okay, josh. thank you." amber said, smiling.

"okay, remember i'm just a message away." josh said.

he then leaned over and kissed amber's cheek softly, soon walking out of the room slowly, hoping she'd ask him to stay, but she didn't.

as the night went on, more lights in the hospital went dimmer, and as much as she tried to get some sleep, she couldn't.

she picked up her phone from the beside table and looked at the time,

2:03am

amber sighed and pulled the blankets off her, stepping out of bed and sitting on the couch against the window out looking the hospital car park.

she soon noticed the tour bus, and in the tour bus, a small light still on. she assumed someone was still awake.

she was almost certain of who it was.

amber opened up instagram and messaged the certain someone.

they saw her message almost instantly, and she saw him walk through the car park and within a few minutes he was standing at the doorway.

"hi." amber said,

"hi." he responded.

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