[ONGOING] Assassin's Creed Oneshots (REQUESTS OPEN - SMUT INCLUDED)

𝕴𝔫Ʈᵣⵀ

As I said, this is inspired by RobenChan3's Assassin's Creed oneshot collection. No intention of copying their work, and this is my first oneshot. Requests are open in the comments. Enjoy! :D

Me, looking at laptop: Altaïr, have you seen this?

Altaïr: What?

Me: *Shows him image of his grin*

Altaïr: Wait, my grin actually looks like that?

Me: *wheezing to death on the floor*

Altaïr: EZIO!

Ezio: What?

Altaïr: Ash (me) is wheezing again can you help them?

Ezio: Fine!

*Ezio picks me up* Ciao, mia bella (Hello, my beauty)

Me: *wheezing* FIRENZE SHOES- *continues wheezing*

Ezio: ...What?

Me: *still wheezing* Look at the picture on my laptop *starting to lose air from wheezing so hard*

Ezio: *looks at the picture of Altaïr: Ma che cazzo?! (What the fuck?!)

Altaïr: Make sure not to drop them okay?

Ezio: *drops me*

Me: TY PIERDOLONY- LEPIEJ UCIEKAJ, CHŁOPCZE. (You fucking- You better run boy)

Ezio: In nome di Dio, per favore, PIETÀ! (In the name of God, please, MERCY!)

Me: NIE WYDAJE MI SIĘ, DZIEWKA. (No mercy for you, bitch) *takes Altaïr's slipper*

Altaïr: EZIO, RUN!

Me: Į̸͔̭̀̓ ̴̣̪͕̞̿̆̈́͌D̸̪̳̥͚̤͕̏͝Ǫ̴̛̛̱̘̰̗̭̠̻̤͑͛̓́̿̍̊ͅN̸̮͔͖͒̓̌̽̈́͗̚̕͝'̴̮̰̻̱̰̍̄̋͗͑̇̋̓͜ͅT̶̮͙͓̤̗̱̞͔͋̎͗͒̔͌͊ ̷̢̝͈̼̟̗͔̯͂̊T̷̛̠̪̰̬͚͎̟̯͙̿̽̎͒̊͝Ḩ̷̣̑̈Ï̵̛̼̭̇̂͌͋̊͑͝Ņ̷̡̬̮͚̪͇̎K̶̛̹̼̤͂͛̊̉̕͝ ̷̛͉̣̼̻̬͓̼̀S̶̳͙̳͙̾͐̅̋̔͆͑̊͑͜O̷̝͐̔̑̾.

*I throw the slipper at Ezio's head*

Ezio: AIUTO! (HELP!)

Connor: WHAT'S GOING O- Oh. You're on your own Ezio.

Ezio: BAYEK?

Bayek: Nope, can't help you there.

Ezio: KASSANDRA?

Kassandra: I've been hit by a slipper thrown by Ash before. I still have the scar. Don't mess with them.

Altaïr: *scared shitless*

Ezio: *gets hit in the back of the neck*

Me: Okay, I'm going to start writing now :D

Altaïr: HOW?

Me: Would you like to get a slipper too Altaïr?

Altaïr: N-no...

Me: Then shut up and wear your bloodstained slipper. *hands him the slipper*

Edward: *walks in* Guys, I bought din- *Sees Ezio's unconscious body on the floor* I'll go prepare dinner then.

Arno: Ash, aren't you supposed to be starting the oneshots now?

Me: I forgot...But I'll start here!