[ONGOING] Assassin's Creed Oneshots (REQUESTS OPEN - SMUT INCLUDED)

𝐂ɵกกɵᴦ ⌶𝕞α𝓰ɨก𝓮 ⎯ 𝑫ɨᴦ✝ሃ ᒍɵк𝓮𝘀 ⟬𝞛ɵ𝙙𝓮ᴦก⦆

Me: *sketching*

Connor: Ash...What are dirty jokes..?

Me: Uh...I'll tell you later Connor I'm busy-

Connor: EZIO!

Ezio: WHAT?

Connor: WHAT ARE DIRTY JOKES?

Ezio: SIT DOWN CONNOR, I'VE GOT A LOT TO TELL YOU-

Me: Oh gods, here we go again...

_--✯•☒•✯--_

Imagine this: Telling Connor a bunch of dirty jokes and him not getting it

Note: You're Connor's partner and it's a modern imagine, this is going to be really short, gender neutral

TW: Dirty jokes (If you get it, you get it. If you don't, that's okay.)

_--✯•☒•✯--_

"Hey Connor." you say to your boyfriend as you're watching TV together on the couch. 

"Hm?" he replies.

"What's six inches long, hard and has white stuff on the end of it?"

He gives you a confused look as you say, "I own the best rollercoaster in town. Care to ride it?"

"What-"

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Because a hooker can wash her crack and resell it. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"I don't get it..." Connor replies.

"Look up the meaning." you reply.

A few minutes later, Connor's eyes were wide, his face was ashen and sweat was running down his brow. "Y-Y/N..." he says, his voice raspy. "W-what the...what the hell is this..?"

"Oh, that's called dirty jokes," you reply. "You want to see where they come from?"

Fifteen minutes later, Connor was being stoic towards you.

"Connor." you say. You get ignored.

"Connor." you say, but firmer. And yet again, you get ignored again.

"Ratonhnhaké:ton," you say. Finally, he turns around and looks at you. "Are you okay?"

"I was thinking...can we...try that..?" he asked you hesitantly.

"If you want to." you reply with a smile, squeezing his hand.

_--✯•☒•✯--_

Me: This was really fucking short two oneshots in one day wow my fucking update schedule got a bit better-

Altaïr: I'm surprised-

Ezio: Wow and that's only about 280 words-

Me: I mean, I didn't really have the time or the ideas to write over the break I had, so I'm trying to write something really short before I work on the next big oneshot-