[ONGOING] Assassin's Creed Oneshots (REQUESTS OPEN - SMUT INCLUDED)

ദ𝒾ꞅ𝕥ђⅾ𝝰𝛄 ꚃᵖ℮ċ𝒾𝝰ட

Quick A/N:

My birthday is today, so I decided to do a birthday special. It's not an x Reader or anything like that, it's just me and the other Assassin's Creed protagonists celebrating my birthday (think of the mini conversations at the beginning and end of each oneshot, but in oneshot form). Enjoy!

-Ash 

♡ღ∞•∞ღ♡

I wake up at 8am, trying my best not to fall back asleep into the king sized bed. I had barely slept at all, tossing and turning all night as well as waking up at 2am then falling back asleep. I hear a knock at the door and yell "Come in!"

Everyone piles into my large room and yells, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASH!"

"Who's cooking?" I ask. "Because it better not be Jacob."

"Hey!" the 5'6 guy with the top hat whines.

Ignoring her twin's mini temper tantrum, Evie says, "Altaïr's cooking. He says he'll make Polish breakfast for everyone."

Ezio quickly interjects and says, "We have to go help him actually. See you downstairs, Ash."

Mini timeskip

After I get ready for the day, I head for the dining room. I see a ridiculous amount of Polish food. Nalyśniki (Polish crepes), kasza manna (semolina porridge), okragly chleb kartoflany (potato bread), racuchy z jabłkam (Polish apple pancakes), raspberry pączki (Polish donuts with raspberry filling), cottage cheese and potato pierogies, farmer's cheese on toasted potato bread and a platter of kielbasa, kabanos and Polish cheese. There was also kompot (Polish thick fruit sauce, made by boiling any fruit on hand in cheesecloth), plum butter, regular butter and assorted fruits.

I grab plates and utensils for everyone and set the table, then sit down and wait.

Sure enough, everyone is nearly running for the food. Edward and Eivor sit to my right and my left and each grab a slice of regular potato bread. "I don't see why we couldn't have a Viking feast," Eivor complains as they (A/N: I'll use any pronouns for Eivor because it's just simpler than using male or female Eivor or having both) dig in to their bread. "Really?" I say. "You look to be enjoying that bread, Eivor."

"So Ash," Ezio says. "Why aren't you eating anything?"

I get pulled out of my thoughts and say, "Sorry, I zoned out."

"ADHD?" Evie asks.

"Y-yeah," I reply. "That and I don't usually eat breakfast. I'll try to eat some of this though."

I grab some cottage cheese pierogies and slice of plain potato bread. Putting the pierogies on top of the bread, I take a bite into it and the taste surprises me. "Thanks for the food, Altaïr!" I say while grabbing a pancake and drizzling some kompot on it.

Altaïr gives me a small smile, which was his way of saying, you're welcome. "Ash," Connor says.

"Yeah?"

"How do people have kids?"

I almost choke on my food and everyone else looks at Connor with a dumbstruck look on their faces. "Well you see Connor-" Ezio says before I cut him off. "Ezio come on, don't tell him right now, we're eating!"

"You mean you actually want Connor to know Ash?" Edward asked.

"Yes and no," I reply. "Yes because he's like 21 so he should know already and no because he's going to be traumatized."

Edward shrugs and goes back to eating before he realizes something. "Where's my rum?"

"Goddammit Edward," I say. "It's like 9am, no alcohol before noon."