Naruto: The Seraph Project

Chapter 7: The Awakening of the Beast (Updated)

TW: Depression

 "Again!" I say once more, while moulding my lightning chakra into my palm before shaping it.

Despite the exhaustion that blurs my vision or makes my legs wobble, I don't care; I persist, I continue. My Raikiri is weak and unstable—quite pathetic, rather. It's difficult to keep it under control; the sparks burn my skin as they caress it. I try to strengthen my technique, amplify its power with my chakra, but my bruised chakra network is on fire and I almost collapse. Still, even though unconsciousness threatens to drag me back into its realm, I hold on, endure, and silence the tremors in my entire arm.

Panting heavily, I race to smash through the rocky obstacle in front of me. My hand sinks in and cracks the stone ... but it resists. Instead of exploding under the force of the impact, only fragments flew away while the wall crumbled in a sad way. My attack failed miserably. I'm honestly exhausted. I am well aware. My mind like my body screams at me to take a break and I forbid myself to comply. If I cannot push my limits over and over again, I won't progress.

Each shot must be optimal.

Each shot must be precise.

Each shot has to be perfect.

I roughly extract my arm as the natural blades scratch my limb; these few cuts release bloody drops which are lost in the dewy grass, then return to the earth. These ephemeral wounds are nothing compared to the hell that my student must endure if he's still alive. With my chakra vessels boiling like hot water, I convince myself that I deserve it, that this is my punishment. I was the most promising ninja of my generation, a true genius that one could only envy to equal. If I have to compare myself to today, I am pathetic, a monumental disappointment, and this is a euphemism.

"Again," I whisper once more.

I mould my chakra to change its nature into lightning before sculpting its shape, though excruciating pain pulses through my entire being. I cannot create any lightning. However, I notice someone coming to meet me. I temporarily stop my activity with a sigh. How many times do I have to repeat myself? I want to be left alone, is it too difficult to understand? I have no intention of slowing down—on the contrary, I must redouble my efforts.

"Wasn't I clear?!" I grumble dryly between clenched teeth. "Stop interrupting my training!"

"Master Kakashi..."

Umino Iruka... A bit of curiosity overwhelms me for a breath. This must be another desperate attempt by the Hokage to convince me to stop. After all, this isn't the first time that she has sent someone to persuade me to "find help." Nonsense. It's Naruto who terribly needs it; in comparison, it's better to forget me. She's wasting resources that could be used to track down and bring my precious student back to the village.

"Don't you have a class to take care of?!" I hiss coldly between loud, jerky breaths.

With a sweaty brow, I wait impatiently for him to get the hell out of here so I can resume my training.

"We just found Naruto."

I immediately fall into a stupor; at that, I feel like my heart, abused and tortured by overwork, has suddenly stopped. Did I hear correctly? They would have found Naruto? Is it true? Is this a sordid joke? A hallucination of my mind to torment me further?

An excruciating headache hammers me mercilessly; innumerable questions are jostling in all directions, in all corners, like a riot that it's impossible to stop. I am asphyxiating in a tiny box where only the beating of my organ of love can be heard; the outside world has emancipated me from its universe and everything that exists. It only lasts a second, but it feels like an eternity. To believe that I am a victim of the Tsukoyomi a second time, apart from the pain, apart from the despair...