Girl To Girl: Vol. 2

Pregnancy Paranoia: How to Handle It

When it comes to getting your period each month, What's your usual vibe? Fairly relaxed, aside from the less-than-great symptoms and underwear backup plans? Or full-blown panic mode, "This is it... I knew it ... I'm PREGNANT ... oh wait, here it is, thank God, wow you really had me that time!" (lies down, cuddles a hot water bottle). If the latter is ringing a bell, don't worry (about worrying at least) because you are not alone.

Pregnancy paranoia — stressing about the possibility of being pregnant to the point of taking pregnancy tests after sex every time or being convinced you're pregnant despite using contraception (or not having sex at all) — is very real. And it can make people so stressed that they give up sex altogether.

What's Triggering It?

As OB-GYN Dr. Sara Twogood explains, this kind of pregnancy paranoia is something she has come across in her work, and there are a number of reasons behind it.

"We are taught from a young age the 'dangers' of sex, and often that education comes in the form of "You can get pregnant anytime, anywhere,' says Dr. Twogood. "This includes being worried about pre-cum and sex acts that aren't intercourse."

"The other triggers come from being worried about the enormity of the situation and what they should do, what their partner would think, feel, or say to them, and how other people will react. It's certainly a big, important event, but it's also something we've been taught to see as a worst-case scenario and almost as something we don't have any control over, which isn't the case."

So if you're finding yourself unduly stressed every time you have sex, or even when you haven't had sex at all, here's a reality check from an expert on the most common pregnancy fears, so you can get back to enjoying your sex life.

Pregnancy fear: No contraception is 100%
effective.

Reality: True, but some can be 99% effective
(and you can double up).

Used correctly, contraception can give near-perfect protection so you can enjoy fun, healthy, mood boosting sex, which is the kind of odds we'll take.

"For most methods of birth control, there are two effectiveness ratings — perfect use and typical use. If taken according to the instructions — AKA used perfectly — both types of pill (combined and progesterone only) have an efficacy of 99%. With typical use, which takes human error into account for example, missing pills, taking them late, or illness — the effectiveness is 91% (which is still pretty high)." So if you take an organized and mindful approach — set a reminder on your phone and take it at a set time every day (e.g., with breakfast) — it's highly effective birth control.

When a hormonal birth control method is combined with a barrier method such as a condom, pregnancy is even less likely (and you'll also be protected from STIs).

It can also be helpful to understand how contraceptives work. For example, the combined pill stops ovulation and thickens the mucus in the cervix, so it's harder for sperm to reach an egg, and it thins the uterine lining, so there's less chance of a fertilized egg implanting. Knowing all the ways contraception prevents pregnancy can help allay your fears.

Pregnancy fear: I had protected sex, but what if something went wrong?

Reality: Protected sex = very low chance of pregnancy.

This is when it's so important to have faith in your contraception and trust it to do its job- because when used correctly, it will.

"When we're first learning about sex, whether it's at school, through a friend or a family member, or reading about it, there can be a negative emphasis around the effectiveness of contraception, and the information given tends to focus on typical, rather than perfect, use. So you might hear something like 'condoms are only 87% effective' or 'contraceptive pills are only 91% effective.' These percentages are actually quite high, and when these methods are used perfectly- - which is entirely feasible with thought and care - they're even higher " notes Dr. Twogood.