Uncared for {T.N. x M.R.}

seventeen

Song: Why'd you only call me when you're high - Arctic Monkeys

~

Daisy White

Friday

"I thought you'd be asleep," he said, his words followed by a chuckle. "You looked tired earlier."

Tired? I wasn't tired. I was upset at Mattheo. There's a difference.

"Then why'd you come?" I asked, looking at him.

His eyes moved from the lake ahead, to meet mine. "I hoped."

I sighed, looking down at his hands while he was picking at his nails. "And the others?"

"Sleeping," he said. "As far as I'm aware, Alex passed out in the tub, Mattheo on Draco's bed, and Draco probably on the floor."

"And you?" I asked. "You're still awake."

"Sheer will. Don't want to sleep."

I frowned lightly, looking at his eyes again, even though they wondered back to the woods.

"Why not?" I asked.

Sure, it's a stupid question, but what else was there to do? It was midnight and I was nearly close to sleeping myself.

"Morning would've come quicker." He looked down at his hands. "I'd have to be me again. Sober, a douche, Beth's boyfriend, the best friend of the guy who's trying his best to be with you, the loser who cut his hand in Herbology class, the moran who picks on lower years, the boy who was found with a knife in his hand that killed his older brother. I'd be me again."

Pansy told me what he had did. He had no choice. Self-defence.

"And you're not that now?" I asked.

He looked at me, his ocean eyes frozen on me as he lightly tilted his head. "Do you see me that way?"

I froze. What?

"What do you mean?" I managed to ask.

"Do you see me like others see me?"

He was high, I reminded myself. High, and talking nonsense. That's it. Nonsense. Just nonsense.

"No," I said flatly. Lightly I shook my my head. "No, I don't."

He started laughing, looking at his broom that lay on the grass in front of us. I sighed.

"I don't know what to do, Daisy."

I frowned, looking at him. "What do you mean?"

Theo's eyes saddened. "I can't date Beth. She's not mine to begin with. Never was."

I was confused, but it wasn't my business. Not my pot. I shouldn't start stirring.

"Alex wants her, you know," he continued. "Everyone knows he does. And she wants him. Everyone knows she does. Beth was never really mine."

That made sense. I've noticed how the two of them were too close. Too friendly for that matter.

Yet, I never said anything, and wasn't planning on saying anything now. He was stoned as we were speaking, and I'm sure he would barely remember this at all. Which was a good thing.

And due to my silence, we sat there for a while without someone saying a word.

"Daisy," he said, making me look at him again. "Am I a bad boyfriend?"

I became blank. He was seriously asked me that question. Not his girlfriend, me!

"I don't know, Theo."

I genuinely didn't know. I wasn't his girlfriend. I don't even know what Mattheo and I were. But he was asking me?

"Do you love Beth?" I asked him, which struck him by surprise.

"Beth?"

"Yes."

He became silent for a while. He didn't answer me. Until he said: "No. I don't- I don't think I do."

"Then why are you with her?" I asked.

I know I was stupid. Asking him this while he was high, but I couldn't wait. He was high, and fairly vulnerable. I didn't think he'd lie to me.

"If she tells me she doesn't want me, I'll leave her-"

"Why?" I asked in a scoff. "Why wait. Theo, you don't like her that way. Considering that you don't love her."

He sighed, laying onto his back, not saying a word.

"Theo-"

Suddenly, he moved to a sit, grabbing the sides of my face, before crashing his lips into mine. I froze, not pulling away, nor kissing back.

When he pulled away, he looked at me blankly.

"Theo-"

His lips crashed straight back into mine, and my body froze again, until his lips pushed harder against mine. They unfroze, and I kissed back.

I knew I shouldn't have. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was being stupid; but I couldn't pull away.

He moved me, pulling me closer to him with his hands on my neck. I moved forward, before suddenly feeling his hands moved to my sides. All while his lips parted, and the sweet single kiss became a sinful one.

Next thing I knew, I was on his lap. My legs behind him, while his hands were on my waist, and my arms around his neck.

Bloody hell, Theo. This is wrong.

I think about two minutes in, he pulled away, his eyes suddenly clear with the knowledge that he was doing wrong.

"Fuck," he whispered, his head pulling back a bit.

That's when I came to my senses. I pushed myself out of his lap and arms, and straight to my feet. I got struck with more panic than ever before.

"You're high," I reminded myself, just out loud. "Theo's high. And most likely also drunk. Merlin knows." I shook my head as I looked around

His face turned from regret to realization of why I was saying that. "No, Daisy. That's not why I-"

"You're not yourself," I said, as if reminding him. "You're emotional, and high, and drunk. This is just a mistake."

He slowly stood up. "Daisy, please. No. That's not what this is."

"Fuck me," I whispered, before looking at him. Then I saw his wand in his pocket. That's when I got hit with an idea. "Theo-"

"I'm sorry, Daisy. But I didn't-"

"Theo take out your wand."

"What?" he asked, his hand already reaching for it.

I gave a cold sniffle. "Theo it's past midnight, and you're drunk, and high, and you have a girlfriend. You shouldn't have kissed me. Take out your wand, and fix this."

"Fix this?" he questioned.

I met his eyes. "Obliviate me. I don't want to- I can't remember this. You won't. I will. Obliviate me."

His hand slowly pulled his wand from his pocket, but I knew he was hesitant.

"Dammit. Obliviate me, Theo!"

His hand flew up, and I peered my eyes shut. My hands were fists while I stood frozen.

"Obliviate."

A whisper that probably saved my regret...